Welcome to our Summer Blog Series examining the impact of anxiety disorders on church participation and spiritual development in kids. Today, we’ll examine steps parents can take to help promote spiritual growth among children and teens with anxiety disorders. 

A child or teen who maintains an active involvement in the children’s or youth programming at their local church may spend 50-100 hours per year engaged in ministry activities. A parent may have 3,000 hours per year or more in which to influence their child while together at home, in the car, on vacation or over meals. Even if anxiety poses an obstacle to their child’s full participation in church-based activities parents retain the greatest opportunity (and responsibility) for instructing their child in the Christian life.

First and foremost, parents can model for their children the fruits of the spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Actions and attitudes are powerful influences with our kids. The child with ongoing anxiety may be more sensitive to angry or insensitive comments, unintentional slights or approval withheld. Parents who demonstrate Christ-like attributes are most likely to have the quality of relationship with their child to allow them to exert influence once their child reaches the age when their behavior can no longer be easily controlled.

Next, parents can demonstrate to their children how their faith in Christ and use of spiritual disciplines helps them to cope with the day to day fears and anxieties that are part of living in a fallen world. Consider the following verse:

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

                                                                        Phil 4:6-7 (NKJV)

The child with anxiety might respond to those verses by thinking “I’m anxious because I don’t pray enough and I’m not thankful enough.”

The parent who wishes to model positive coping strategies for their child can be a blessing to their child by allowing them to witness their parent using prayer offered in a spirit of thanksgiving as a tool from God for addressing their own fears and anxieties.

Finally, the parent of a child who struggles with anxiety can seek to partner with the children’s/youth ministry team at their local church. Some churches offer training and curriculum for parents interested in home-based models of religious education. Parents who want to take responsibility for teaching their child about faith may be reluctant to ask for help from church staff or struggle to identify appropriate strategies for taking the next steps without some guidance and direction from staff. Children’s and youth ministry leaders can’t be expected to read the mind of a child with anxiety. Parents need to communicate with church staff when specific activities or situations produce fear or avoidance sufficient to interfere with their child’s church participation. Church staff and volunteers need to keep such information in confidence, ask parents for suggestions for interacting with their child when they exhibit signs of anxiety at church and communicate the love of Christ to the child and their family.

The Lord is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear?                                                The Lord is the defense of my life; Whom shall I dread?

                                                                        Psalms 27:1 (NKJV)

Tomorrow: What causes anxiety disorders in children and teens?