Why I’m grateful for Pastor Bob

I never had an opportunity to meet Pastor Bob Hopper. Bob came to my church this past February expecting to serve for two years as our church’s transitional pastor. God had different plans for our church and for Pastor Bob. He went home to be with the Lord following a cardiac arrest late Monday evening.

During my time serving with Key Ministry, I’ve come to appreciate the extent to which people serving in ministry invest their hearts, minds and souls into their calling. That’s especially true of the pastors and staff who serve our church.

When a church or ministry organization assembles a team of gifted and talented people that begins to impact their community for Jesus, a couple of things usually happen. First, they’re guaranteed to encounter significant adversity. I’ve become a big believer in spiritual warfare as a result of our team’s experiences over the past fifteen years and through observing the experiences of many of our faithful ministry colleagues. The other thing that happens is that day-to-day disagreements with very bright, opinionated teammates exert a great emotional toll when they arise in the context of serving Jesus.

I’ve been extraordinarily fortunate to have a church that’s been a continual source of support throughout the time I’ve been serving with Key Ministry. I don’t get to spend as much time with my friends from church as I would like, but the camaraderie and encouragement I sense when we do reconnect helps keep me going. I’m pretty tired by the time Sunday rolls around. The opportunity to experience great worship music and excellent teaching free of the dysfunctional relationships and toxic politics I hear of from too many of my ministry colleagues has been a great blessing. The church is a great support to me in my ministry work.

While I’ve been reaping the benefits of an excellent church, the people responsible for leading our church have been paying quite an emotional price for sustaining excellence. We lost our longtime senior pastor this past summer. Another outstanding teaching pastor preached his final sermon on the day prior to Bob’s passing. Other staff members are hurting. And for the most part, I doubt any of us who aren’t directly involved with the day to day operation of the church would have ever noticed.

I’m grateful for Pastor Bob because of the care and concern he showed to the other pastors and ministry directors who serve so that my family and I can be blessed through our involvement with church. From the words that were shared at Bob’s memorial service this past Thursday night, he provided them with great comfort and support. My sense is that he was a true servant leader. In his short time at the church, leaders felt valued. If his last couple of sermons were indicative of his communication with our church’s leadership, I can understand why many seemed more encouraged and empowered.

In my line of work, we consider it a great honor when other physicians ask us to care for their children and family members. We’re a pretty demanding lot! Pastor Bob clearly demonstrated the experience, wisdom and integrity sufficient to earn the trust of the very gifted pastors and ministry leaders who serve our church. He was a pastor to hurting pastors…and for that, I’m grateful.

At Bob’s memorial service this past Thursday night, the people of our church were asked to come up to a microphone and share how they’d been blessed by his ministry. I thought I’d share my thoughts here with a larger audience.

I have a request to make of our readers… Most of us never fully appreciate the sacrifices our pastors and ministry leaders make in order to serve us. I think a neat way for each of us to honor Pastor Bob’s memory would be through sending a text, e-mail, social media message or best yet, a handwritten note of encouragement to a pastor or ministry leader who has provided us with encouragement and comfort. He’d appreciate that.

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The quiet ministry of a special needs grandparent

February 22, 1995.

When Mary Evelyn woke up that day, she had no way of knowing her life would never be the same. She got up, got dressed and went to breakfast with her husband. Her husband became a passionate student of the Bible after accepting Christ two decades earlier and had begun teaching Bible classes for fellow Catholics. After breakfast, she accompanied him to a nearby church where he’d been invited to deliver the eulogy at the funeral of a neighbor of theirs who attended his Bible classes. Just as her husband stepped down from the altar after completing the eulogy, he experienced a massive heart attack and was dead by the time his body reached the floor.

At around the same time in a world-renowned pediatric hospital 75 miles to the northwest, Mary Evelyn’s only grandchild (at that time) was about to leave the neonatal intensive care unit for the first time on her 100th day of life. Shannon was nineteen ounces when she was born 15 ½ weeks earlier than expected after her mother’s blood pressure rose to dangerous levels. Shannon would ultimately spend eight of her first thirteen months of life in the NICU, and was connected to a ventilator well into her early childhood.

Mary Evelyn may have found herself without a husband by the end of that February day twenty-two years ago, but she most certainly had a purpose. Shannon needed lots of care and support. Her premature birth and the years she spent connected to a ventilator resulted in profound speech delay. Before going to school, Shannon spent all of her time with in-home caregivers, her parents and Mary Evelyn. As sometimes happens in such circumstances, Shannon’s mom and dad are no longer married. When Shannon’s mom needed to go to work, Mary Evelyn was often there to get Shannon off to school and to greet her when she arrived home from school. She helped with meals. She was an extra set of eyes, ears and hands for Shannon’s mom.

As she got older, Mary Evelyn developed more and more challenges with mobility. She eventually moved in with her daughter and Shannon. As she entered her ninth decade, she experienced a number of serious health concerns, including a stroke. Their little family cared for one another. Mary Evelyn continued to provide invaluable support to her daughter in looking after Shannon after she herself became a recipient of home-based healthcare.

When the ambulance came for Mary Evelyn this past Wednesday night shortly before she went to be with the Lord, Shannon found herself home alone at night for an extended period for the first time in her life. Mary Evelyn’s daughter could well have experienced great relief at being relieved of the burden of caring for an elderly parent. Her first response was to wonder how she’d be able to care for her daughter without her mother’s support.

How many grandparents quietly, day in and day out, without fanfare or special recognition provide an irreplaceable blessing through the care they provide to children with disabilities? How many lend the additional hands necessary for their families to function after decades of raising their own kids? And what do we do to support them?

When my father’s ministry ended on February 22nd, 1995, my mother’s ministry began. She, like many grandparents and extended family, stepped up to help without ever thinking of their actions as ministry. Jesus is pleased and my father is proud.

Well done, good and faithful servant!

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KM_ForFamilies_Logo_Color_RGBKey Ministry helps connect churches and families of kids with disabilities for the purpose of making disciples of Jesus Christ. In order to provide the free training, consultation, resources and support we offer every day to church leaders and family members, we depend upon the prayers and generous financial support of readers like you. Please pray for the work of our ministry and consider, if able, to support us financially!

Posted in Advocacy, Families, Special Needs Ministry, Stories | Tagged , , , , | 3 Comments

Hoping there’s a place in the church for a kid like mine

This was a big week in the Grcevich household. Our youngest daughter (Mira) graduated from high school this past Thursday night. I’d like to tell you a little bit about her and let you know why she would be an incredible asset to your church someday.

I’ve developed an extraordinary respect for Mira through watching her navigate the challenges of middle school and high school…not so much for what she’s accomplished (she can look back upon lots of accomplishments) or the challenges she’s overcome (multiple), but for the kindness and sensitivity she demonstrates to the people she comes in contact with on a daily basis. A peer from her high school dance team shared this about Mira in a speech at their National Honor Society farewell ceremony:

It was her inner beauty that left a lasting impression on me. Mira has a true compassion for others regardless of who they are or who their friends are or how smart they are or how powerful they are or what size, shape or culture they may be. She sincerely wants the best for each and every person, a quality I have not found in many people.

I came to know Mira as we would don our white leather boots and dance on the football field on Friday night. She would always put a smile on my face with a cute, kind phrase she’d have for me. She would call me a little peach, a ball of sunshine and a glowing rainbow, to name a few. There were always kind words and praises from her, so much positive energy and words.

I all too often found ways to avoid situations and challenges that made me uncomfortable in high school. Mira bravely faced up to – and overcame her challenges. She acquired the self-discipline necessary to endure ten hour long practice sessions as a member of our school’s championship-winning dance team – an activity that didn’t allow her to rely upon natural ability. The self-discipline learned in dance came in handy for managing the academic workload she embraced in school. Mira endured quite a few sleepless nights completing the work required of her to finish among the top 15 students in her graduating class. She did so while pursuing and holding down a job and serving as a volunteer Sunday school teacher to preschoolers throughout much of her time in high school.

Mira will be heading out in August to attend Belmont University in Nashville, where she plans to major in psychology. If that’s the career she ultimately selects, she’ll be really good. She’s very empathic. She’s got a gift for recognizing when people around her are in need of encouragement. She’s a champion for the downtrodden or marginalized. She’s wickedly smart. She quietly makes astute observations about the patterns of behavior and motivations of people encountered by our family.

I was pleased by her college choice. She was offered admission to – and very significant scholarships from – a number of elite schools. Given the nature of her chosen profession, she’s likely to find herself surrounded by mentors and peers quite hostile to the traditional brand of Christianity she was raised with in our home. My wife and I are hopeful that she’ll be encouraged and supported in the development of her personal faith throughout her undergraduate years at Belmont and be better prepared for the time when she’ll be surrounded by people who don’t believe as we do.

Mira will likely be very uncomfortable with my decision to post this brief tribute to her online. She doesn’t like being a focus of attention. She’s a bit of an introvert. She values her alone time. She’s more comfortable hanging out with one or two good friends on the weekend than going to a large party.

I worry that we don’t make it easy for young adults like Mira to assimilate into Christian community when they leave home to attend college or leave college to settle into a career. The ministry environments in our churches tend to be designed by leaders who are very comfortable sharing their faith – and other deeply personal information with people at earlier stages in a relationship than feels right for many. I wonder if we lose a lot of our youth when we focus exclusively on activities and programs that occur in medium to large-sized groups and offer little to kids who are more comfortable in gatherings of two or three? Because of the distance we live from our church, Mira missed out on the opportunity for the relationships with adults from the congregation that are often critical in preventing kids who regularly attended church from becoming statistics.

My hope for her when she goes away to college is that she’ll experience what Jonathan Holmes refers to as “biblical friendships.” Would you please join with me in praying that Mira will find mature adults and fellow students in her new city who will encourage and support her as God continues to form her into the young woman he intends for her to be?

It continues to be an honor and a privilege to be Mira’s dad. I’m trusting that the people she’ll meet in Nashville will come to care for her and appreciate her as much as we do!

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shutterstock_291556127Key Ministry encourages our readers to check out the resources we’ve developed to help pastors, church leaders, volunteers and families on mental health-related topics, including series on the impact of ADHD, anxiety and Asperger’s Disorder on spiritual development in kids, depression in children and teens, pediatric bipolar disorder, and strategies for promoting mental health inclusion at church.

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Physician-assisted suicide in CATHOLIC-run PSYCHIATRIC hospitals

There are no words. I direct our readers to this post from last weekend by Wesley Smith on the National Review’s website describing the decision of a religious order in Belgium that operates 15 psychiatric hospitals with a combined 5,000 beds to permit physician-assisted suicide within their facilities.

From the Catholic News Agency

Raf De Ryce, chairman of the board overseeing the institutions, contended that the new policy was not a major change, the bioethics site BioEdge reports, citing Belgian newspapers.

“It is not that we used to be against euthanasia and now suddenly are for it. This is consistent with our existing criteria,” he said. “We are making both possible routes for our patients: both a pro-life perspective and euthanasia.”

De Ryce said the inviolability of life is “an important foundation” but for the board it is not an absolute.

“This is where we are on a different wavelength from Rome.”

I have some questions…

What responsibility do individuals and organizations identifying as “Christian” have to protect the vulnerable and the suffering? There are few institutions within Western culture where individuals experience greater vulnerability than in psychiatric hospitals.

While this episode took place in Belgium, what safeguards and protections are in place to prevent a similar action in California, Massachusetts, Vermont or New York in the next 5-10 years, or any other state that supports physician assisted suicide?

If the “inviolability of life” is not an absolute for Christians or Christian-led organizations, what is?

What’s the point in being affiliated with a religion or church that doesn’t believe in any absolute truths? Is the absence of religious leaders living out a clear, consistent and immutable faith one reason that so many people in the U.S. and Europe identify themselves culturally as “Christian” but don’t live in a way that reflects traditional doctrine and beliefs?

What will happen to the sick and the disabled if Christians cease to be the salt and light to society? 

“You are the salt of the earth, but if salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled under people’s feet.

“You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that  they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.

Matthew 5:13-16 (ESV)

 

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May is Mental Health Month. Kay Warren has developed a webpage for #MHM2017 where she shares mental health resources for Christians and church leaders, including videos, testimonies, live interviews, Bible verses, quotes and links to support groups offered by our friends at The Grace Alliance and Fresh Hope. Check out Kay’s resources and share with your friends.

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Why the church doesn’t “get” mental illness

Editor’s Note: May 1st-7th has been designated as Children’s Mental Health Awareness Week, and Thursday, May 4th is Children’s Mental Health Awareness Day. In today’s post, Dr. G looks at why far too many churches overlook or deliberately ignore the needs of families impacted by mental illness during a time when intentional ministry with persons with disabilities and families is rapidly expanding.

Why does the church struggle so much to minister with persons with common mental illnesses and their families? I suspect that mental illness isn’t easily compartmentalized into the understanding held by many church leaders of body, mind and soul.

Scripture very clearly instructs us to be intentional in serving persons with disabilities and including them in the life of the church.

But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.”

 Luke 14:13-14 (NIV)

In recent years, the church has made great strides in growing ministry with persons with physical disabilities. The Bible is very clear teaching that disease and bodily decay is a consequence of living in a fallen world. Healing the sick was so central to Jesus’ earthly ministry that he found himself continually monitoring the potential for his healing to become a distraction from his teaching.  

Jesus challenged the prevailing view of disability in his day and made clear that disability can and is as means through with Christ seeks to build his kingdom.

As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?”

“Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him.

John 9:1-3 (NIV)

I suspect that much of the church’s struggle to “get” mental illness, and in turn to minister effectively and compassionately with persons with mental illness is rooted in our understanding of how much control we have over our thoughts and our behavior.

From the founding of the church, pastors and theologians have wrestled with the concept of free will – the extent to which we are able to make choices free of coercion. The Apostle Paul struggles with this idea in Romans 7.

We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!

So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in my sinful nature[d] a slave to the law of sin.

Romans 7:14-25

Mental illness forces us to wrestle with the concept of moral agency – an individual’s ability to make moral judgments based on some notion of right and wrong and to be held accountable for these actions. Most children and adults with common mental health conditions have the capacity to know right from wrong and are fully responsible for their choices, but they may need to devote significantly more cognitive resources and intentionality to managing their words and behaviors than persons without an identified mental health diagnosis.

Special needs ministry has experienced dramatic growth in the past two decades. The explosion of children and teens identified with autism has been one catalyst to growth. Improvements in medical science have resulted in the survival of many children with severe developmental disabilities and genetic disorders who wouldn’t have survived twenty or thirty years ago. But I’d argue that churches have an easier time embracing ministry to children and adults with severe intellectual or developmental disabilities because church leaders recognize their limited capacity for moral agency.

When someone appears to possess the capacity to know right from wrong and exhibits actions or behaviors that the Bible clearly recognizes as sin and carries with them a mental health diagnosis, many church leaders are all too often inclined to view their mental health condition as a rationalization as opposed to a disability. This is especially true when the persons affected appear to have some capacity for controlling their words and actions.

We are all too quick to forget Paul’s teaching. All of us fall short of God’s standard. While it is undeniably true that through the power of the Holy Spirit within those who have come to faith in Christ are a new creation and available evidence suggests that spiritual practices common to the Christian life help to enhance self-control, none of us will be perfected on this side of Heaven.

Do some mental health conditions result in a greater predisposition to sinful thoughts, speech and behavior? Unquestionably. Is anyone with a human brain and a human mind –  a mind that enables them to be aware of the world and their experiences, to think and feel – capable of living a sinless life and saving themselves. Nope. Do children and adults with mental illness need Jesus any more or any less than anyone reading this blog? Nope.

The truth is that we’re all “disabled” when it comes to our ability to avoid sinful thoughts and actions. The sooner we embrace that reality, the sooner we can be about the work of sharing the love of Christ and making disciples among children, adults and families impacted by mental illness.

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shutterstock_291556127Key Ministry encourages our readers to check out the resources we’ve developed to help pastors, church leaders, volunteers and families on mental health-related topics, including series on the impact of ADHD, anxiety and Asperger’s Disorder on spiritual development in kids, depression in children and teens, pediatric bipolar disorder, and ten strategies for promoting mental health inclusion at church.

Posted in Advocacy, Key Ministry, Mental Health | Tagged , , , , , | 2 Comments

What if Mom is depressed?

Consider the ways children may be impacted when a parent is depressed…

According to an Institute of Medicine report, 15 million children in the U.S. are living with a depressed parent at any given point in time.

Having a depressed parent is a significant risk factor for depression in kids. Kids are three times more likely to develop depression when they have a depressed parent. That observation seems intuitive, but research suggests that genetics only contributes 30-40% of the risk of depression. Other factors clearly come into play…the availability of the child’s other parent, the temperament of the child, the interplay between environmental influences and genetic expression, birth weight (lower weight conveys greater risk), age of menarche (early puberty associated with greater risk), the nature of parent-child interactions, family systems issues and exposure to adverse life events. Risk factors also work both ways…the experience of having a child with special needs may increase risk of depression in parents.

Children of parents with depression (especially boys) are also at greater risk of developing other internalizing disorders (anxiety), externalizing disorders (ADHD, disruptive behavior disorders), cognitive delays, medical problems, lower than expected academic performance and social delays.

Another interesting aspect of our discussion about depression involves the research suggesting that church attendance results in a significant decrease in depression symptoms among children and youth, and in turn, church attendance among adults appears to significantly reduce their risk of depression as well. The research findings examining the relationship between faith, spiritual practice and depression are very complex and probably merit several posts upon completion of this series. But for the sake of this discussion, it appears that in examining depression as a specific disability, regular involvement of either the child or the parent with depression at church not only produces spiritual benefits, but actually helps reduce the risk for the condition itself.

Therefore, an argument can be made that it’s very important to get the entire family to church if any member of that family is affected by depression. So, what can the local church or individuals from the local church do to help mom (or dad) and the entire family?

Be proactive about inviting friends and neighbors to church (with their families) who are struggling from depression and the feelings of isolation and hopelessness that frequently accompany the condition. Given the numbers of persons being treated for depression…over 20% of women in the U.S. regularly take medication for depression and nearly all of us are likely to know several friends or colleagues being treated for depression.

Establish inclusive weekend ministry environments where the children of parents with depression can experience the love of Christ.

Be on the lookout for families who are irregular attenders, or families who have been regulars but are absent for weeks at a time. Follow up with them. Just be with them. Offer to serve them. Avoid the mistake that Job’s friends made in assuming that his condition was related to punishment for sin or some lack of faith.

Support the involvement of organizations and ministries that offer care and support to families impacted by depression. Mental Health Grace Alliance is an outstanding organization offering a variety of support groups and resources to promote mental health recovery. Fresh Hope is an international network of Christian support groups that help participants live well in spite of having a mental health challenge because of the hope found in Christ. The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) has an ongoing outreach to faith communities. Research indicates that many persons with chronic depression may have been experienced negative interactions with church leaders when seeking help for their condition. The church may need to go above and beyond to restore relationships in light of past hurts.

Isn’t it possible, if not likely that God uses afflictions such as depression to draw those he loves into a closer relationship with him. The church should help persons suffering from depression through pointing them to Christ and demonstrating Christ’s love for them in tangible ways.
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KM_ForFamilies_Logo_Color_RGBKey Ministry helps connect churches and families of kids with disabilities for the purpose of making disciples of Jesus Christ. In order to provide the free training, consultation, resources and support we offer every day to church leaders and family members, we depend upon the prayers and generous financial support of readers like you. Please pray for the work of our ministry and consider, if able, to support us financially!

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Are you prepared to encounter your rooster?

Then Jesus said to them, “You will all fall away because of me this night. For it is written, ‘I will strike the shepherd, and the sheep of the flock will be scattered.’ But after I am raised up, I will go before you to Galilee.” Peter answered him, “Though they all fall away because of you, I will never fall away.” Jesus said to him, “Truly, I tell you, this very night, before the rooster crows, you will deny me three times.”

Matthew  26:32-34 (ESV)

The events of our past decade have been very unsettling to me and many of my friends. I‘ve been stripped of the belief that my family and I live in a “Christian” country by the lack of pushback against agendas seeking to undermine the ability of some with traditional beliefs to live out their faith in the public square.

While Christ-followers in 21st century America don’t experience the hostility and dangers faced by our brothers and sisters in other parts of the world, especially Muslim-controlled countries, my experience in identifying trends and patterns in the culture suggests to me that our religious liberty as we have known it throughout our adult lives in America may be coming to an end. Traditional Christian teachings regarding the family, marriage and sexuality have come under relentless assault by the champions of sexual liberty without guilt or consequence. Our institutions (large corporations, government, academia) are squarely on the other side in the culture war. You will be made to care.

As we celebrate the Easter story, I’ve felt drawn to the story of Peter and his denial of Christ. On the one hand, Peter had reason to fear for his life when the servant girl asked if he was a follower of Jesus. On the other hand, Peter followed Jesus for three years as a member of his inner circle and was witness to the miracles Jesus performed during his earthly ministry. If he was unable to resist the temptation to deny Jesus, how will I do when the time comes?

I worry that my own faith and the faith of many of my fellow Christians is a mile wide and an inch deep. It’s one thing to profess one’s faith in front of a room filled with like-minded people. It’s another thing when there might be a price attached to that profession.

The Denial of Saint Peter by Simon Bening. Courtesy of the Getty Museum

In the future, persons who require a government-issued license in order to work will be especially vulnerable. I worry about my daughter who plans to apply to med school in the fall. What will she do if she’s required to assist with or perform abortions in order to graduate from med school or her residency program? What if she’s required to assist her patients in committing suicide? What would I do if the government demands I do something that represents a major violation of conscience? In all likelihood, we won’t find ourselves sitting by a fire in fear of our lives when we confront our “rooster.” But we may be sitting in the office of a school administrator, the human resources director or a state licensing board when our rooster is ready to crow.

I have lots of thoughts about what our churches need to be doing to better prepare our people for the time when living out one’s Christian faith will lead to adversity, but they’re beyond the scope of today’s post. But it’s absolutely clear that for us to stand firm in the face of hostility, we’ll need the power of the Holy Spirit, and we’ll need the encouragement and support of one another. That’s why we need to do a better job of welcoming all who would seek to worship to our churches.

  • How is the shy or socially awkward teen going to be prepared to handle the challenges to their faith they’re likely to encounter at college if they don’t have a church to fall back upon?
  • How will the young counselor or psychologist respond to a client seeking help in turning away from an alternative sexual lifestyle when supporting such a client may represent a career-ending decision without a Christian community to support them?
  • How will a parent with no savings, kids in college and a mortgage respond when their employer strongly suggests they affirm a practice that conflicts with the teachings of the Bible?

Let’s celebrate Jesus’ resurrection today with our families and our fellow Christians. But let’s not forget that we don’t have any more time to waste if we are to be sufficiently prepared to follow him faithfully in the years ahead,

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KM_ForFamilies_Logo_Color_RGBKey Ministry helps connect churches and families of kids with disabilities for the purpose of making disciples of Jesus Christ. In order to provide the free training, consultation, resources and support we offer every day to church leaders and family members, we depend upon the prayers and generous financial support of readers like you. Please pray for the work of our ministry and consider, if able, to support us financially!

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Autism resources for ministry leaders and families

Key Ministry has developed an array of resources for pastors, church staff members, volunteers and families interested in supporting kids with autism spectrum disorders. We encourage you to share these resources freely with church leaders or families that would find them helpful.

Articles:

My Son’s Autism Changed Everything – Even the ChurchSandra Peoples from our Key Ministry team authored a wonderful article in Christianity Today  in which she discusses the challenges her family faced when their son (James) was diagnosed with an autism spectrum disorder, how the church in which her husband served as senior pastor rallied around their family, and how the response of the church to families of kids with special needs is changing.

Blog posts:

Fitting in at church…by Anonymous: A wonderful, first-person description of attending church written by a college student with Asperger’s Disorder.

Ten truths for parents of kids with autism…Colleen Swindoll-Thompson: Colleen shares the lessons she’s learned after nearly twenty years of parenting her son (Jonathan) with autism spectrum disorder.

481-EmilyColsonMax.jpgEmily Colson…Becoming still: The best-selling author of Dancing with Max shares her personal witness of how God has used her son with autism (Max) to bless so many lives.

I had no plan…Jeff Davidson: A reflection from an accomplished pastor, disability ministry leader…and the father of a 15 year old son with autism.

What families of teens and young adults with developmental disabilities need from church: A look at the results of a two year project of families in Tennessee from the Vanderbilt University Kennedy Center with adolescents or young adults with developmental disabilities focused on “faith and flourishing.”

One Family’s Journey in the Bible Belt…guest post from Stephanie Prosser: A mother and autism advocate describes her family’s experience of searching for a church in Abilene, TX where she, her husband and her son would be able to regularly attend church as a family.

BPCA Success Story From My Church: A story from Bay Presbyterian Church in Ohio is a reminder of the difference inclusion ministry done well can make in the lives of the families served.

“Doing church” when kids struggle with social communication: A look at the challenges someone with difficulty picking up on body language, common rules of social behavior or the tone and inflection of speech if they started attending your church.

The relationship between ADHD and autism: This post examines some possible connections between ADHD and autism and examines how better understanding the overlap between the two conditions may lead to better intervention and support at church.

Church: The Friendliest Place in Town? Mike Woods: A special needs ministry leader who is the father of triplet sons, all with autism spectrum disorders examines the role of the church in creating a community of people willing to develop and nurture friendships with people with special needs.

Blog Series:

Micah in tree 1Asperger’s Disorder and Spiritual Development: Co-authored by Mike Woods, Director of the Special Friends Ministry of First Baptist Orlando and Dr. Steve Grcevich of Key Ministry.

Dave Lynden…Spiritual Autism: A senior pastor and respite care advocate takes a closer look at how his understanding of God has been impacted by his experiences as the parent of a son with autism.

Video:

Do I have to have surgery to open my heart to Jesus? In this interview from Inclusion Fusion 2012, Dr. Cara Daily discusses strategies for discussing abstract spiritual principles to children and teens with autism spectrum disorders. This presentation will be of interest to children’s ministry, student ministry and special needs ministry leaders.

Asperger’s Disorder and Spiritual Development: In this presentation from the 2012 Children’s Ministry Web Summit, Dr. Steve Grcevich discusses strategies for churches to use in including and ministering with kids and teens with Asperger’s Disorder and their families.

Sticks and Stones, Clicks and Phones: Solutions for Preventing Bullying at Church: Katie Wetherbee and Rebecca Hamilton tackled the issue of bullying at church in this presentation from Inclusion Fusion 2012. Pastors, children’s ministry leaders and volunteers need to know how to proactively prevent bullying, because sadly, this kind of behavior can—and does—occur in churches. In this presentation, They share practical strategies for changing the social culture of Sunday mornings.

Emily Colson…Dancing with Max: Emily Colson shares a story…amazing stories of what God has done through her son’s life. God wrote HIS story all over the lives of Emily and her son (Max), now in his 20s and diagnosed with autism. In this presentation, Emily encourages other families to share their stories of how God has been at work through their experience of disability while being honest about the “tough stuff.”

Katie Wetherbee interviews Chuck and Colleen Swindoll: In this two-part interview from Inclusion Fusion 2011, Chuck Swindoll and his daughter (Colleen Swindoll-Thompson) spoke at length about the impact of having a grandson (Jonathan) with autism on their family, how his presence in the family has been a blessing, and how Jonathan has helped Chuck become more effective in his ministry to people with disabilities.

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Sandra Peoples (Key Ministry’s Social Community Director) is sharing 30 Days of Prayer for Our Kids on the Spectrum for Autism Awareness Month 2017 on her personal blog. Here’s a video with Sandra and her son (James) introducing her devotional series…

 

Posted in Autism, Key Ministry, Resources, Sandra Peoples | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Benedict Option

 

I’ve been a follower of Rod Dreher’s blog for a long time. Rod’s a journalist who writes extensively about religion in the public square. He has written and served as an editor for the New York Post, the National Review, the Dallas Morning News, and other publications. I’ve found him to be an astute observer of cultural trends, especially the rapidly evolving threats to religious freedom and increasing hostility toward Christians who maintain traditional views regarding sexuality and gender. Dreher’s new book, The Benedict Option is the featured story in this month’s Christianity Today.

I had the pleasure of meeting Rod last month when he was in Northeast Ohio to lecture at Malone College.  I came away from his talk with the impression that disability ministry is likely to become a defining feature of churches and communities of Christians who choose to pursue his recommendations for growing in faith while faithfully witnessing to an increasingly hostile culture.

I’m not surprised that Rod has received lots of blowback about his book. He’s been very pointed in his criticism of churches and church leaders who have failed to communicate the essentials of the faith to a “lost generation” who fail to think and act differently than non-Christians in the surrounding culture, claiming that the church “no longer forms souls but caters to selves.”  He’s been skewered by progressive Christians including Rachel Held Evans, and criticized by evangelicals (unfairly, in my opinion) who claim he is advocating a withdrawal from culture.

Here’s an excerpt from Rod’s feature in this month’s Christianity Today that introduces the overarching themes addressed in his book…

I brought up the work of philosopher Alasdair MacIntyre, who said that Western civilization had lost its moorings. MacIntyre said that the time is coming when men and women of virtue will understand that continued full participation in mainstream society was not possible for those who want to live a life of traditional virtue. These people would find new ways to live in community, he said, just as St. Benedict, the sixth-century father of Western monasticism, responded to the collapse of Roman civilization by founding a monastic order.

I called the strategic withdrawal prophesied by MacIntyre “the Benedict Option.” The idea is that serious Christian conservatives could no longer live business-as-usual lives in America, that we have to develop creative, communal solutions to help us hold on to our faith and our values in a world growing ever more hostile to them. We would have to choose to make a decisive leap into a truly countercultural way of living Christianity, or we would doom our children and our children’s children to assimilation.

Today, Christians who hold to the biblical teaching about sex and marriage have the same status in culture and, increasingly, in law, as racists. The culture war that began with the sexual revolution in the 1960s has now ended in defeat for Christian conservatives. The cultural left—which is to say, the American mainstream—has no intention of living in postwar peace. It is pressing forward with a harsh, relentless occupation, one that is aided by the cluelessness of Christians who don’t understand what’s happening.

I have written The Benedict Option to wake up the church, and to encourage it to act to strengthen itself, while there is still time. If we want to survive, we have to return to the roots of our faith, both in thought and in deed. We are going to have to learn habits of the heart forgotten by believers in the West. We are going to have to change our lives, and our approach to life, in radical ways. In short, we are going to have to be the church, without compromise, no matter what it costs.

There’s a great deal of misunderstanding about his writing. His message is a difficult one for us to hear. He’s not calling for Christians to isolate themselves from society. He is calling us to become far more intentional and serious about cultivating spiritual maturity in the context of Christian community. He is encouraging Christians to embrace our “exile in place” and to form a vibrant counterculture.

Rod does encourage and promote…

  • Pursuit of a spiritually disciplined life.
  • Intentionality in building Christian community.
  • Abandoning hopes of changing the culture through political power while focusing on the preservation of religious liberty.
  • Making the church the center of your life.
  • Special efforts for racial reconciliation.
  • The creation of a Christian academic counterculture.
  • The centrality of sexual integrity to Christian life.
  • The importance of protecting ourselves (and especially, our children) from the dangers of technology.

Why do I see disability ministry as central to the Benedict Option? Quoting Rod…

The state will not be able to care for all human needs in the future, especially if the current projections of growing economic inequality prove accurate. The sheer humanity of Christian compassion, and the image of human dignity it honors, will be an extraordinarily attractive alternative-not unlike the evangelical witness of the early church amid the declining paganism of an exhausted Roman Empire.

Ministry to persons with disabilities fits perfectly within the Benedict Option. We put our faith into action by doing. Doing ministry forces us to train ourselves to face the inevitable adversity associated with efforts to restore Jesus’ Kingdom on Earth and compels us to seek one another out for encouragement and support.

With every passing day, we’re likely to encounter more and more victims of a spiritually impoverished culture…

  • The children who need someone to care for them because of drug-addicted (or dead) parents.
  • Victims of sex trafficking and sexual abuse
  • Children with disabilities from families lacking the means to escape underperforming schools
  • Kids and adults who struggle with gender discordance who continue to experience hopelessness and suicidal ideation after hormonal treatment or surgery.

There’s something remarkably countercultural about the willingness of a couple to volunteer their time offering respite care to parents in crisis when everyone else around you expects someone else to help. It’s just the church being the church.

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KM_ForFamilies_Logo_Color_RGBKey Ministry helps connect churches and families of kids with disabilities for the purpose of making disciples of Jesus Christ. In order to provide the free training, consultation, resources and support we offer every day to church leaders and family members, we depend upon the prayers and generous financial support of readers like you. Please pray for the work of our ministry and consider, if able, to support us financially!

Posted in Book Reviews, Controversies, Key Ministry, Spiritual Development, Strategies | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

Is past experience of church a barrier for persons with mental illness and their families?

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I’ve been wrestling with the idea of revising a chapter in the book I’ve been writing on how churches can welcome and include individuals and families affected by mental illness.

In the book, we explore seven barriers to church attendance and participation for children, teens, adults and families impacted by mental illness.

  • Social isolation
  • Anxiety
  • Social communication
  • Self-control
  • Sensory processing
  • Stigma
  • Family members with mental illness

I suspect that past experiences of church may be a major barrier to current church involvement for many adults with a history of mental illness or parents of children or teens with significant mental health conditions. There’s not an enormous amount of research to support or refute that hypothesis. Matthew Stanford’s group at Baylor reported a sizable number for adults who approach their churches for help as a result of a mental health condition have such negative experiences that they report either a weakening of faith or an end to their church involvement. When we offered our Inclusion Fusion Disability Ministry Web Summit in 2014, a survey of conference participants reported that 61% of our attendees with a disability or a family member were unable to attend church at some point as a result of that disability.

I have three questions for readers of our blog with personal experience of a mental health condition, or a loved one with a mental health condition. Please post your responses below in the “Comments” section, especially if they might serve as an encouragement to others or might be helpful to churches seeking to offer more effective ministry to persons impacted by mental illness.

Have you (or someone you know) had an experience related to a mental health condition impacting either yourself, a family member or a friend that led you (or them) to stop attending church?

What happened that was so hurtful? 

What would a congregation have to say or do to get someone who drifted away because of their experience with a mental health condition (or with a loved one with a mental health condition) to consider giving church another try?

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KM_ForFamilies_Logo_Color_RGBKey Ministry helps connect churches and families of kids with disabilities for the purpose of making disciples of Jesus Christ. In order to provide the free training, consultation, resources and support we offer every day to church leaders and family members, we depend upon the prayers and generous financial support of readers like you. Please pray for the work of our ministry and consider, if able, to support us financially!

 

Posted in Hidden Disabilities, Key Ministry, Mental Health, Stories, Strategies | Tagged , , , , , , | 3 Comments