I’ve been struggling with this blog for two days. Today’s post will be more personal in nature.

Over the last year, I’ve had two intensely frustrating ministry experiences. One has occurred in the context of Key Ministry, one involved another volunteer commitment. Both situations involved the same underlying theme…people who had reached a significant level of influence within the church were establishing barriers to prevent others from gaining a platform for meaningful service.

In retrospect, I’m convinced that God has had a clear purpose in mind for the anxiety and frustration of the past year. In the situation outside Key Ministry, I can see how God’s been at work, repositioning people in ways that everyone may serve more effectively and joyfully. Both situations have been instrumental in framing what will be a core value for Key Ministry going forward…that we will truly be inclusive, proactively seeking opportunities to support and promote other persons and ministry organizations with gifts and talents and resources of value in building the Kingdom.

These experiences have been instructive. In both situations, I’ve felt like an outsider looking in. I think that feeling is similar to the experience I’ve heard from many parents of kids with disabilities who’ve wanted to get more involved at church. They often describe the sense of being an outsider whose presence at church is an intrusion into the ways that things have always been done. Having two girls who would be considered “typical,” I wouldn’t have otherwise been able to empathize with the experience of families who feel left out.

Jesus came so that we could all become “insiders.” Everyone is ultimately invited to the banquet.

I also think God is using these experiences as opportunities for me to grow in spiritual maturity. Emotional self-regulation is not always a strength of mine, especially when my lingering adolescent revulsion for hypocrisy gets activated. In the conflict involving Key Ministry, I consider myself blessed to serve with Board members who modeled for me Christ-like ways of responding to conflict with other believers. I also want to do a better job of modeling for my own family appropriate ways of managing frustration with grace and maturity.

One of my takeaways from reading the Bible is that as long as I put God’s agenda first and try to maintain a continual awareness of the temptation to promote Key Ministry or myself out of the wrong motivations, God will continue to bless the efforts of our ministry team. The moments that will define me and will define my team involve the ways that we choose to respond when we’re hurt or under attack.

I appreciate your prayers as I try to live up to the standards God wants me to maintain as a leader of Key Ministry and as a spiritual leader in my own home.

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On a brighter note, anticipate a major announcement on this blog later in the week regarding one of the most exciting ministry opportunities in which Key Ministry has been privileged to participate!