Category Archives: Foster Care

Please don’t say “all kids do that” to adoptive and foster families…

But when foster or adoptive parents like me hear that, it feels dismissive to the real grief, pain, and trauma our kids have experienced and how that history still influences their actions today. Usually when someone tells another parent “all kids do that,” the words are meant to be helpful, to soothe our nerves or encourage us in the midst of a hard parenting moment. But that’s not what your words do. Instead those words invalidate what we know to be true and minimize the extra layer of thinking that parenting kids from hard places requires. Continue reading

Posted in Adoption, Families, Foster Care, Key Ministry, Strategies | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 75 Comments

The myth that love is always enough…

Sadly, love isn’t always enough, and the implication that it is (or should be) with kids exposed to trauma or neglect is as destructive as the myth that mental illness is caused by a problem with sin or inadequate faith.
Continue reading

Posted in Adoption, Advocacy, Controversies, Families, Foster Care, Key Ministry | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

I love adoption, but…

When we say yes as a church to caring about vulnerable children and families, let’s also say yes to talking about related challenges too. Continue reading

Posted in Adoption, Families, Foster Care, Inclusion, Key Ministry, Strategies | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 22 Comments

To love adoptive and foster families, (5) be willing to listen and learn.

Listen to the challenges we encounter as adoptive and foster families, such as being conspicuous in public due to adopting or fostering a child of a different race, considering dissolution or disruption of a child’s placement within our family in favor of another family who might be better equipped to meet the child’s needs, losing friends or family who don’t agree with our choice to adopt or foster, and struggling with the special needs of our child, whether known before placement or presenting as a surprise post-placement. Continue reading

Posted in Adoption, Controversies, Families, Foster Care, Key Ministry, Strategies | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

The responsibilities of church leaders who promote adoption

I’d like to challenge church leaders to assume responsibility for supporting their families when they pursue adoption ministry. Continue reading

Posted in Adoption, Families, Foster Care, Key Ministry, Strategies | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

To love adoptive and foster families, (4) let our kids be kids…

But they are kids, first and foremost. Welcome them as you would any other child. Work with their parents or guardians to figure out how to include them well.
Continue reading

Posted in Adoption, Families, Foster Care, Key Ministry, Strategies | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

#2…Churches should become trauma and attachment-informed

So, church leaders, what can you do to become trauma- and attachment-informed and to then use that knowledge to serve adoptive and foster families well? Continue reading

Posted in Adoption, Advocacy, Controversies, Families, Foster Care, Hidden Disabilities, Inclusion, Strategies | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 27 Comments

Five ways the church can love their adoptive and foster families

When their parents are being elevated with comments about what a great thing they did, then those children may feel like they are less deserving of their families than a biological child might be. Continue reading

Posted in Adoption, Advocacy, Families, Foster Care, Key Ministry, Strategies | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

Holistically Serving the Adopted/Foster Child…Inclusion Fusion Library

In the video, she shares some of her experiences dealing with the emotional struggles of adopted and foster children as they adjust to the reality of becoming part of a new family. She did a great job of describing how the adverse childhood experiences of kids available for adoption and foster care contribute to difficulties “doing church” and shares helpful strategies for church staff and volunteers who interact with them at church. Continue reading

Posted in Adoption, Advocacy, Families, Foster Care, Hidden Disabilities, Inclusion, Inclusion Fusion, Key Ministry, PTSD, Training Events | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment