Key Strategy #1…Services and resources are offered free of charge

NashvilleWe’re continuing our miniseries examining six “Key” strategies…operating principles and approaches that provide a framework for our staff and volunteers when unexpected opportunities arise. Today, we’ll look at our practice of providing our training, consultation, resources and support to churches free of charge.

Still, I want it made clear that I’ve never gotten anything out of this for myself, and that I’m not writing now to get something. I’d rather die than give anyone ammunition to discredit me or impugn my motives. If I proclaim the Message, it’s not to get something out of it for myself. I’m compelled to do it, and doomed if I don’t! If this was my own idea of just another way to make a living, I’d expect some pay. But since it’s not my idea but something solemnly entrusted to me, why would I expect to get paid? So am I getting anything out of it? Yes, as a matter of fact: the pleasure of proclaiming the Message at no cost to you. You don’t even have to pay my expenses! 

1 Corinthians 9:15-18 (MSG)

large door final.inddWhen Key Ministry was first established, our leadership group never sat down for any type of intentional discussion about charging for services. I guess we figured we’d just show up and train church staff and volunteers wherever we were invited. Money was never an object…or a consideration.

During our first year, I was in Nashville on a speaking trip when friends arranged for me to meet with the children’s ministry director of a very large church they attended. I was explaining what we do and the problems we hoped to help solve, but the non-verbals and the body language during the meeting weren’t very positive. About three quarters of the way through the meeting, the children’s director came out with the question…”What does this all cost?” My immediate answer (not having thought that anyone would ever ask the question) was “nothing.” The entire tone of the conversation shifted at that point, and I received my first lesson in the business side of children’s and family ministry. I had no idea how many vendors routinely approached pastors and church staff with products to sell, or the struggles children’s pastors, youth pastors and family ministry leaders face to serve lots of kids with very limited budgets.

Following that discussion, an unwritten policy more or less developed that Key Ministry would provide all of our training, consultation, resources and support to churches free of charge. Our reasoning behind the decision was…

  • To remove money as a barrier to churches getting the help and the resources they needed to welcome kids with “hidden disabilities” (our terminology at the time) and their families. We were having a hard enough time giving our stuff away for free ten years ago… we thought charging for what we did would greatly limit the potential impact of the ministry.
  • We saw the opportunity to provide services free of charge as an opportunity for our organization to model an object lesson in grace. After all, Jesus paid the price for our salvation. We can’t do anything to earn salvation…we simply have to accept Jesus’ gift, freely given. If “free” worked for Jesus, it should work for us.
  • From a practical standpoint, the concept of “free” has historically been very appealing to a core group of our donors. For a long time, we probably raised far more money from folks who supported us in part because our services were made available for free than the money that would have resulted from offering training or resources for a nominal charge.
  • From a personal standpoint, “free” was easier because “free” made it more difficult for other people to impugn my motives or the motives of our staff or volunteers, in keeping with Paul’s observations from 1 Corinthians. The impact of money on the decision-making of my physician colleagues has been a very sensitive topic in my field over the last  five to seven years. I wanted church staff and volunteers to know that Key Ministry has no other agenda than to see more kids and families come to know Jesus through the ministry of a local church.

This strategy is (out of the six discussed in this miniseries) the one most likely to be modified in the coming years. We’ll always provide substantial tools and resources to churches free of charge and it would be my hope that we’ll always have someone available to answer a phone or respond to an e-mail when a pastor, staff member or church volunteer has questions about serving an especially complicated or challenging child or family. As the inclusive disability ministry movement continues to grow, it’s very possible in the future that our core staff may offer additional “value added services” to churches or denominations that provide ongoing financial support. As budgets become tighter, we may need to prioritize the scheduling of live training events at churches with the means to offset some of the expenses associated with travel. There will likely be a time when  some members of our team might generate financial support through writing books or developing other products sold by ministry partners. Whatever we do in the future, the churches we serve can rest assured that our mission of helping churches welcome, serve and include kids with disabilities and their families isn’t going to change.

Photo courtesy of  freedigitalphotos.net

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HomepageKey Ministry is pleased to invite you to make use of our website. Over 180 FREE, downloadable resources are available to pastors, church staff and volunteers seeking to serve kids with disabilities and their families. Please check out keyministry.org today and share the link with anyone who can benefit!

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Tales from the special needs ministry front…

large door final.inddOur Key Ministry team has been hard at work laying the foundation for some really big things we’ll be announcing in the coming months. In the meantime, I thought I’d share some very neat updates that have drifted across our radar screen…

Shannon Dingle and her husband Lee recently made a brief video for the Archibald Project (an educational non-profit using media and documentary storytelling to educate and inspire people towards adoption) on the topic of life after adoption. It’s definitely worth a look…

Also worth a look is this photo blog capturing the Dingle’s adoption experience in Taiwan, as well as Shannon’s revamped blog, Celebrating Beauty in Brokenness.

Marshall ShelleyMarshall Shelley is a prominent figure in the evangelical community…editor of Leadership Journal and an editorial vice-president of Christianity Today. Here’s a great story describing the impact his daughter had on so many around her, despite her brief life with microcephaly…

Amy SimpsonAmy Simpson is a former publishing executive working at Christianity Today as Editor of Gifted For Leadership.com and Kyria’s Marriage & Parenting resources. She’s a free-lance writer who grew up in a family that experienced firsthand the impact of mental illness. Her new book, Troubled Minds-Mental Illness and the Church’s Mission addresses the topic of how the church can love people with mental illness and include those “with minds that are whole and minds that are troubled.” Her book is available for pre-order at Amazon.com. We’re looking forward to Amy serving as a guest blogger in May. In the meantime, here’s a preview of her new book

cm0313_122x166Finally, I’d like to extend congratulations to our teammate Katie Wetherbee. Katie has been named as the special needs columnist in Children’s Ministry magazine. Children’s Ministry is published in print and online, and is a publication of Group Publishing.  Katie will also be making a repeat appearance as a presenter at this year’s Group Kidmin Conference in Columbus, OH, scheduled for October 11th-14th. Click here for more information…

 

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ID-10072756Key Ministry has put together a resource page for pastors, church staff, volunteers and parents with interest in the subject of depression and teens. Available on the resource page are…

  • Links to all the posts from our recent blog series on depression
  • Links to other outstanding blog posts on the topic from leaders in the disability ministry community
  • Links to educational resources on the web, including excellent resources from the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP), a parent medication guide, and excellent information from Mental Health Grace Alliance.

Photos courtesy of  freedigitalphotos.net

Posted in Adoption, Key Ministry, Mental Health, Resources, Stories, Training Events | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Six Key Strategies

Old Key Ministry LogoFrom time to time during this year, we’ll take a look at important takeaways our Key Ministry team has gleaned during our first decade of helping churches welcome kids with disabilities and their families. During March, we’ll share six “Key” strategies…operating principles and approaches that provide a framework for our staff and volunteers when unexpected opportunities arise.

Each of these strategies SUPPORT the mission, vision and values of our organization…they’re subject to change when they no longer fulfill their purpose. The strategies are grounded in Biblical principles. Each strategy is synergistic with every other strategy. They all serve the purpose of helping to maximize the impact of the human and financial resources God has entrusted to our stewardship.

We’re anxious to share the strategies with our friends and colleagues throughout the disability ministry movement because…

  • They’ve worked for us most of the time.
  • They’ve helped potential partners better understand where we’re coming from in our approaches to serving churches.
  • By sharing, we help to create organizational memory among our current and future leaders.
  • They will serve as the springboard to new strategies formulated in response to new challenges and opportunities.

Here are the six strategies we’ll explore in this short series…

Six Key Strategies

First up…Why we made our services available free of charge.

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Key CatalogOur Key Ministry team is very much in need of your support if we are to continue to provide free training, consultation and resources to churches. Please consider either an online donation or a sponsorship from the Key Catalog. You can sponsor anything from an on-site consultation at a local church, the addition of a new site for church-based respite care, to a “JAM Session” to help multiple churches launch special needs ministries in your metropolitan area. Click the icon on the right to explore the Key Catalog!

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Top Ten Online Influencers in Children’s Mental Health

I received a very pleasant surprise yesterday while hard at work yesterday pulling together all of our forms and statements for our income tax returns…my family will view it as evidence that I spend way too much time with my computer!

Sharecare Now 2

I was honored to be listed among the Top Ten online influencers in the field of children’s mental health (#7, to be specific) by SharecareNow. SharecareNow, powered by WCG, is an online platform developed to access real-time analytics on various health topics, conversations and influencers, and to use these insights to meaningfully impact the conversation through strategic engagement. The platform allows health and wellness professionals, organizations and brands to leverage the most accurate data, solutions and best practices to participate in the social service of expert health and wellness content and communities. Here’s some info on the selection criteria…

Influencers included in “SharecareNow 10: Childrens Mental Health” have demonstrated influence within childrens mental health conversations online. Influence is calculated through a proprietary algorithm based on more than 70 distinct metrics, including disease-area relevance and online syndication, presence and reach. All metrics are based on content produced over the past year (from the list’s publish date) across multiple online channels, including Twitter, blogs, forums, mainstream news and video.

While I very much miss the opportunity to travel and teach as much as I once did, I’ve wanted to continue to fulfill my responsibilities as a physician specializing in child psychiatry to educate parents and professionals about the mental health needs of kids and families. It’s gratifying to see that I’m continuing to meet my responsibilities on that front. Anything that calls attention to the work of our team at Key Ministry and the resources they’ve developed to help build bridges between churches and families of kids with disabilities can’t help but be a good thing.

Thanks to the folks at SharecareNow! Here’s the rest of the list

Top Ten...

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Key Ministry’s mission is to help churches reach families affected by disability by providing FREE resources to pastors, volunteers, and individuals who wish to create an inclusive ministry environment. We have designed our Key Catalog to create fun opportunities for our ministry supporters to join in our mission through supporting a variety of gift options. Click here to check it out! For a sixty second summary of what Key Ministry does, watch the video below…

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Joe Padilla…The Church Response to Families Impacted by Depression

Joe PadillaWe’re honored to have Joe Padilla serving as our guest blogger today. Joe is the Executive Director of Mental Health Grace Alliance (MHGA), responsible for overseeing the organization’s development, support group movement, partnering with the mental health community, and works with numerous families and individuals with mental disorders find RECOVERY and PURPOSE. MHGA was birthed in 2010 to provide recovery support, support groups, training and advocacy partnership for those affected by mental health challenges and mental illness … and impact mental health care development locally and around the world.

The Church Response to Families Impacted by Depression

The reality of watching a loved one suffer through depression is emotionally, physically, and spiritually exhausting. A family member or spouse has tried everything to help their loved one, but their flicker of hope fades as the still the see the depression linger. The emotional stress builds up with tears …

Frustration: “I don’t understand”

Helpless: “I don’t know what to do … nothing is working”

Hopeless: “God, why are you not answering my prayers? … the church counsel is not working”

The exhaustion sets in … “Why God … why me … why us … where are You?

Without proper support from an understanding church community this turns to debilitating despair and many leave the church and walk away from God. I have worked and met many of these families and have received countless emails with heart breaking stories.

What is a church supposed to do? What does support look like for these families? The answer is … keep it simple and loving. Here are ways a church can respond.

1)     Understanding – we work with many pastors and church leaders to understand the reality of mental health difficulties and disorders. They do not have to be psychologists, but they can learn the clinical and biblical balance of these mental health difficulties and disorders. With good education and training, they can provide much better support.

2)     Grace – the family is experience grieving and even a paradigm shift on their personal faith theology. As noted above, the grief has shock, anger, sadness, guilt, shame and eventually they will come to more resolved acceptance. In the midst of the painful journey, it is not the time to fix the situation by prescribing more spiritual activities, try to find fault, or even get into deep theological discussions to explain depression. We want to bring comfort, not more confusion. When we are heavy and weary … we come to Jesus for rest (Matthew 25.11). As a church leader you do not have to know the answers, nor be able to explain it theologically. All it takes is loving care … active listening through the tears, validating the pain they are going through, affirming the relationship of God and the church, and offer support. “I know this is so hard and painful, rightly so. I do not have all the answers, but please know we love you and your loved one, we will walk with you with God’s grace each step of the way. We will try to do what we can practically to help you through this journey”.

3)     Support – the church can consider having biblically based mental health support groups for these families. We (Mental Health Grace Alliance) have designed Family Grace Groups for family members who have a loved one affected by mental health difficulties and disorders. The groups are led by non-professionals and work in any church. The groups follow a faith-structured curriculum of topics to help understand and navigate challenges and even learning their own self-care. In addition, you can help them get connected to other mental health organizations within the community who provide classes and support.

4)     Vision … #RecoverHope – communicate hope … in other words communicate the process of getting better, not promising immediate “breakthrough”. Research reveals that 80-90% of those with proper support and care can reach significant recovery and lead successful lives. We provide recovery support and have seen many incredible lives transformed and living full and joyful lives. Communicate that with support and time, life can get better and back to a purposeful life.

The best way to understand and implement these points is to get connected to mental health organizations like ours (MHGA) and Key Ministry who understand the clinical and biblical balance of mental health care needs … and can provide training and resources for free! As well, there are other organizations like National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) who provide a wealth of support and resources.

When we have done many seminars at various churches where someone usually comes up and tells me that they have stayed away from the church and God because of feeling misunderstood. Or someone telling us they cried uncontrollably because it’s the first time they’ve heard this talked about in the church. In their next breath they share how they are drawing back to God and wanting to get back into church. One woman told me, “I’ve avoided the church for years, but because of this seminar I’ve joined this church community.” The church has a huge role to bring supportive care and recovery.

Grace can be practical … life gets better!

Joe Padilla

Executive Director, Mental Health Grace Alliance

www.MentalHealthGraceAlliance.org

Updated July 14, 2014

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shutterstock_145410157Key Ministry has put together a resource page for pastors, church staff, volunteers and parents with interest in the subject of depression and teens. Available on the resource page are…

  • Links to all the posts from our recent blog series on depression
  • Links to other outstanding blog posts on the topic from leaders in the disability ministry community
  • Links to educational resources on the web, including excellent resources from the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP), a parent medication guide, and excellent information from Mental Health Grace Alliance.

Posted in Advocacy, Depression, Families, Mental Health, Strategies | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

Not Alone

Not Alone 2Social isolation is an enormous challenge for families of kids with special needs. Many of our friends in the disability ministry movement have come together to create a website “where parents can be real, refreshed, and supported in faith as we raise kids with special needs.”

Not Alone is a collaboration of parents of kids with special needs, writing for other parents of kids with special needs from a Christian perspective. Many parents involved in the project have become widely read authors in their own right. All have firsthand experience with the struggles involved in raising children with disabilities. They seek to provide a place where parents with similar challenges can “do life” together.

If you’ve been a follower of our blog, you’ll encounter many familiar faces at Not Alone. Contributing authors who have guest blogged here include Barb Dittrich, Joe and Cindi Ferrini, Stephanie Hubach, Gillian Marchenko, Jolene Philo, Colleen Swindoll-Thompson and Mike Woods.

Not AloneAs of today, Not Alone has been up and running on the Web for three months. The site is clearly meeting a need. They’ve already accumulated nearly 7,800 followers! They also have an opportunity to receive much broader awareness and recognition for their site… About.com has designated Not Alone as one of five finalists for their 2013 “Favorite Special Needs Parenting Blog” award. Receiving this award will make it much easier for families of kids with special needs to connect with and benefit from their ministry.

Wouldn’t it be great for parents looking for support on the web to be directed to a site developed by caring Christian parents who seek to honor God through caring for and supporting other families of kids with special needs? Here’s how we can all help…

About.com awardClick on this link to be directed to the About.com special needs page and vote for Not Alone under “Favorite Special Needs Parenting Blog.” While you’re on that page, it will take less than a minute to also vote for SNAPPIN’ Ministries for “Favorite Special Needs Regional Resource. Last fall, Barb Dittrich (Executive Director of SNAPPIN’) was interviewed here on their initiative to train mentors to support parents of kids with special needs.

Thanks for sharing the resources of Not Alone with parents of kids with disabilities who might benefit from relationships with other parents who have “been there” and “done that.”

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Accessibility Summit 2013Our Key Ministry team will be hitting the road to be part of the 2013 Accessibility Summit, hosted by McLean Bible Church in suburban Washington D.C. on April 19th-20th. This year’s Summit features Emily Colson (daughter of Chuck) As an artist, author, and speaker, Emily is passionate about inspiring others to persevere through their challenges and appreciate life’s gifts. In her book Dancing with Max, she and her late father share the struggle and beauty of life with Max, Emily’s son with autism.

For more on our Key Ministry presentations, click here. For more information on the Summit and registration, click on the Summit logo to the right.

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Dr. G's avatarChurch4EveryChild

CM ConnectI posted some comments on CMConnect about the lessons church staff and volunteers in children’s and family ministry can learn from the way my colleagues in child psychiatry approach the families we serve in practice. Here’s a link to the full post on CM Connect…

Allow me to share an excerpt from the post. The context involves my insistence that parents have the final say on treatment decisions for their kids, because they are far more “expert” than I can ever be when it comes to knowing what’s best for their child:

I’m not the expert…You are! I’ve met your kid a couple of times-you’ve known them for their entire life and have spent more time with them than anyone else. You know more about them than I’ll ever know. You’re the expert-I’m your consultant. I’ll make you aware of the tools and resources that are out there to…

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Understanding depression in kids and teens…an epilogue

ID-10072756We’ve put together a resource page for pastors, church staff, volunteers and parents with interest in the subject of depression and teens. Available on the resource page are…

  • Links to all the posts from our recent blog series on depression
  • Links to other outstanding blog posts on the topic from leaders in the disability ministry community
  • Links to educational resources on the web, including excellent resources from the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP), a parent medication guide, and excellent information from Mental Health Grace Alliance.

If you know of specific resources that might also be helpful to pastors, church staff and families struggling with this topic, feel free to share them in the comments section below.

Photos courtesy of  freedigitalphotos.net

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Key CatalogOur Key Ministry team is very much in need of your support if we are to continue to provide free training, consultation and resources to churches. Please consider either an online donation or a sponsorship from the Key Catalog. You can sponsor anything from an on-site consultation at a local church, the addition of a new site for church-based respite care, to a “JAM Session” to help multiple churches launch special needs ministries in your metropolitan area. Click the icon on the right to explore the Key Catalog!

Posted in Depression, Families, Hidden Disabilities, Key Ministry, Mental Health, Resources | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Does depression result from a lack of faith?

shutterstock_168659081Consider the stories of the five people described in these passages…

I’ve lost twenty pounds in two months because of your accusation. My bones are brittle as dry sticks because of my sin. I’m swamped by my bad behavior, collapsed under gunnysacks of guilt. The cuts in my flesh stink and grow maggots because I’ve lived so badly. And now I’m flat on my face feeling sorry for myself morning to night. All my insides are on fire, my body is a wreck. I’m on my last legs; I’ve had it—my life is a vomit of groans.

Psalms 38:3-8 (MSG)

He ran for dear life to Beersheba, far in the south of Judah. He left his young servant there and then went on into the desert another day’s journey. He came to a lone broom bush and collapsed in its shade, wanting in the worst way to be done with it all—to just die: “Enough of this, God! Take my life—I’m ready to join my ancestors in the grave!” Exhausted, he fell asleep under the lone broom bush.

1 Kings 19:3-5 (MSG)

Curse the day I was born! The day my mother bore me—a curse on it, I say! And curse the man who delivered the news to my father: you’ve got a new baby—a boy baby!”
 (How happy it made him.)
 Let that birth notice is blacked out, deleted from the records, and the man who brought it haunted to his death with the bad news he brought. He should have killed me before I was born, with that womb as my tomb, my mother pregnant for the rest of her life with a baby dead in her womb. Why, oh why, did I ever leave that womb?  Life’s been nothing but trouble and tears, and what’s coming is more of the same.

Jeremiah 20:14-18 (MSG)

We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers and sisters, about the troubles we experienced in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired of life itself.

2 Corinthians 1:8 (NIV)

He was despised and rejected—a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief. We turned our backs on him and looked the other way. He was despised, and we did not care.

Isaiah 53:3 (NLT)

King David, Elijah, Jeremiah, the Apostle Paul, and Jesus (as described in Isaiah’s prophesy). Hardly a collection of guys lacking in faith. Yet, many in the church persist in the view that depression is a consequence of a lack of faith.

shutterstock_145410157While it’s possible that a lack of faith can contribute to symptoms of depression (Elijah in fear for his life from Jezebel) or sin (David), or life stresses (Jeremiah, Paul) it’s difficult to conclude from the number of Biblical illustrations in which giants of the faith struggled with hopelessness and despair that a primary cause of depression is a lack of faith or trust in God. Aren’t we making presumptions about God’s purposes in our suffering? Isn’t it possible, perhaps likely that God might use our suffering to strengthen our faith and to draw us into closer relationship with Him? I’m struck by the number of ministry leaders I’ve met who have struggled personally with depression. Just the other day, our colleague Shannon Dingle shared a wonderful post in which she described how being broken is not bad when God breaks us.

Churches that welcome kids with disabilities and their families will encounter many parents who struggle with depression…in my nearly thirty years in psychiatry I can attest that depression is a frequent complication of having a child with significant disability, especially among mothers. If we’re using family-based ministry models as a strategy to help all kids grow in faith, we need to consider how we’re going to care for parents with depression if they’re responsible for shepherding their kids.

As a psychiatrist, I can’t ever say for sure why any individual kid I’m treating is depressed, other than to say that some combination of biological predisposition, patterns of thinking and perception, environmental influences, situational stressors and sometimes, spiritual factors are involved. From where I sit, churches are most helpful when demonstrating the unconditional love of Christ to all kids and adults struggling with depression, offering biblical counsel if desired, recognizing that depression is a manifestation of our broken world and that God (at times) may use medication and evidence-based psychotherapies as instruments of healing in response to prayer, and acknowledging that like all of us, persons with depression are broken people in need of a Savior.

Updated  July 15, 2015

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shutterstock_150116513Check out Key Ministry’s blog series Depression in Children and Teens…A Primer for Pastors, Church Staff and Christian Parents. Click here for links to all of the posts in the series and some of Dr. G’s favorite resources related to depression in kids, teens and families.

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Does God have a plan for your circumstances? Talk for Chagrin Valley Men’s Fellowship…

378_winter03I’m very much looking forward to the opportunity to get together with the guys from the Chagrin Valley Men’s Fellowship on Monday, February 25th at 7:30 PM at the Pine Lake Trout Club. I’ll be leading a discussion on the topic Does God Have a Plan for Your Circumstances? 

The guys organizing the event had asked me to come to talk about the work that our Key Ministry team does…and I certainly plan to! At the same time, a major theme of Key Ministry’s 10+ years of serving churches has been the way in which God has prepared a uniquely diverse team of staff and volunteers through life experience and education and assembled the team through relationships formed through work relationships and church attendance.

On Monday night, I’ll use Key Ministry as an illustration of how God can use our life experiences and circumstances to prepare us for highly specific ministry assignments. We’ll discuss ways of discerning plans God might have for each of us to serve in His Kingdom, examine some common barriers that prevent us from pursuing the plans that God may have for us, and explore ways that we can encourage and support one another in fulfilling the roles for which God has prepared us.

Here are the slides corresponding to the talk…

Here are directions to the Trout Club…

Trout Club Directions

Men of all ages are welcome and there’s no charge to attend.

I’m looking forward to meeting new friends and a stimulating discussion at the Pine Lake Trout Club on Monday night!

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Key Ministry’s mission is to help churches reach families affected by disability by providing FREE resources to pastors, volunteers, and individuals who wish to create an inclusive ministry environment. We have designed our Key Catalog to create fun opportunities for our ministry supporters to join in our mission through supporting a variety of gift options. Click here to check it out! For a sixty second summary of what Key Ministry does, watch the video below…

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