An open letter to the people of Bay Presbyterian Church

Posted on December 24, 2012 by Dr. G

Key Ministry Birthday CardTen years ago tonight, between the 7 PM and 9 PM services on Christmas Eve, several leaders of Bay Presbyterian Church met in Hu Auburn’s office to sign the articles of incorporation for a ministry organization inspired by a big idea from the (then) youngest member of the College of Elders that BPC’s efforts to welcome kids with “hidden disabilities” could be replicated in thousands of churches around the country and around the world.

Old Key Ministry LogoThe church helped nurture and care for the fledgling organization, as it did for others…and continues to do. Hu came up with the name “Key Ministry,” served as Vice President of the Board for the first eight years, and helped recruit other leaders from the church to help with the startup, including his wife (Jan) to serve as our first Executive Director. Our first Board was made up entirely of Bay Presbyterians…Dave McKee, Ed Moore, Kevin Kelley, joined Hu, Jan and myself, with Julie Jones joining shortly thereafter.

large door final.inddGod was faithful to His promises and lots of doors have swung open over the past ten years for our once fledgling organization.

Key Ministry’s resources, website and online ministry training events have been accessed by pastors, church staff, volunteers and families in at least 139 different countries since the beginning of 2012.

Our ministry blogs have had over 322,000 page views in 2012 alone.

inclusion-fusionOur team has hosted two free, worldwide, Special Needs Ministry Web Summits in the last fourteen months, featuring prominent leaders from a broad range of organizations involved in ministry to children, youth and families impacted by disabilities. The video presentations from Inclusion Fusion are being used to build a free, disability ministry video training library, housed within the Key Ministry website.

Key Ministry staff and volunteers hosted events and spoke at regional, national and international ministry conferences in ten different states across the U.S. in 2012, during which we had the opportunity to train leaders from literally hundreds of churches representing a broad range of denominations.

Free RespiteWe have completed, and are in the process of beta testing the new FREERESPITE website. We’re hoping to add 100 churches to the movement among Christ-honoring churches to provide free, high quality respite care for kids with disabilities and their “typical” siblings during 2013, and hundreds more in years to come.

Obviously, all of this is God’s doing, but Key Ministry is a part of the ongoing spiritual legacy He is establishing through the ministry of the people of Bay Presbyterian Church. This is YOURS…a small part of the fruit that continues to grow from your faithfulness.

libbypI’m extraordinarily grateful for the trust the leaders of the church showed in me when I presented them with a very audacious idea accompanied by the conviction that we were being presented the opportunity to take on a “God thing”…something bigger than we could accomplish through our natural talents and abilities. I can’t imagine a greater honor than the opportunity to play for God’s team as He goes about the work of reestablishing His Kingdom here on Earth. I’ve been blessed to be part of a church in which ministry is not a privilege reserved for those with staff positions or seminary degrees, but a responsibility and an opportunity available to all of God’s people. The willingness of BPC to resource and support those who feel led to be “entrepreneurs  for Christ” is a very special and all too rare thing in the larger church. Regardless of the role God has in mind for me in the future with Key Ministry, I very much want to help other people get the chance you offered me to pursue the “God things” He places before us.

DSC00005I’m also very grateful for the extraordinary encouragement and support I’ve received from people in the church through the struggles and obstacles I’ve faced in my position with Key Ministry over the past ten years. There were a few Sunday mornings when this was the only place I could go where I felt wanted…like my presence mattered. It’s been a blessing for my wife and I to be able to regularly attend again now that our girls can drive  themselves to a church where they can worship with their peers from school.

photoNot too long ago, I took the time to notice this really cool piece of art featured prominently near the church’s main entrance that was created by the girl for whom my wife served as a “buddy” in the early days of BPC’s Circle of Friends Ministry. What a fabulous way to let families of kids with special needs know that this is a place where they too were wanted…where their presence mattered. When I became involved with other leaders from Bay Presbyterian Church in starting Key Ministry, my primary motivation was that I wanted other families to have the same opportunity to experience church that my family had.

Thank you for your care, your prayers, your encouragement and support! And thanks for giving me and my team the opportunity to pursue our “God thing.”

Steve…and the people of Key Ministry

Posted in Key Ministry | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

What Can Christians Learn From the Chick-Fil-A Boycott?

Posted on December 23, 2012 by Dr. G

As the year comes to a close, we’re sharing our ten most viewed blog posts of 2012. Here’s #9…

“Don’t be naive. Some people will impugn your motives, others will smear your reputation—just because you believe in me. Don’t be upset when they haul you before the civil authorities. Without knowing it, they’ve done you—and me—a favor, given you a platform for preaching the kingdom news! And don’t worry about what you’ll say or how you’ll say it. The right words will be there; the Spirit of your Father will supply the words.”

“When people realize it is the living God you are presenting and not some idol that makes them feel good, they are going to turn on you, even people in your own family. There is a great irony here: proclaiming so much love, experiencing so much hate! But don’t quit. Don’t cave in. It is all well worth it in the end. It is not success you are after in such times but survival. Be survivors! Before you’ve run out of options, the Son of Man will have arrived.

“A student doesn’t get a better desk than her teacher. A laborer doesn’t make more money than his boss. Be content—pleased, even—when you, my students, my harvest hands, get the same treatment I get. If they call me, the Master, ‘Dungface,’ what can the workers expect?

“Don’t be intimidated. Eventually everything is going to be out in the open, and everyone will know how things really are. So don’t hesitate to go public now.

“Don’t be bluffed into silence by the threats of bullies. There’s nothing they can do to your soul, your core being. Save your fear for God, who holds your entire life—body and soul—in his hands.

Matthew 10:17-28 (MSG)

But before any of this happens, they’ll arrest you, hunt you down, and drag you to court and jail. It will go from bad to worse, dog-eat-dog, everyone at your throat because you carry my name. You’ll end up on the witness stand, called to testify. Make up your mind right now not to worry about it. I’ll give you the words and wisdom that will reduce all your accusers to stammers and stutters.

 “You’ll even be turned in by parents, brothers, relatives, and friends. Some of you will be killed. There’s no telling who will hate you because of me. Even so, every detail of your body and soul—even the hairs of your head!—is in my care; nothing of you will be lost. Staying with it—that’s what is required. Stay with it to the end. You won’t be sorry; you’ll be saved.

Luke 21:12-19 (MSG)

“If you find the godless world is hating you, remember it got its start hating me. If you lived on the world’s terms, the world would love you as one of its own. But since I picked you to live on God’s terms and no longer on the world’s terms, the world is going to hate you.

 “When that happens, remember this: Servants don’t get better treatment than their masters. If they beat on me, they will certainly beat on you. If they did what I told them, they will do what you tell them.

 “They are going to do all these things to you because of the way they treated me, because they don’t know the One who sent me. If I hadn’t come and told them all this in plain language, it wouldn’t be so bad. As it is, they have no excuse. Hate me, hate my Father—it’s all the same. If I hadn’t done what I have done among them, works no one has ever done, they wouldn’t be to blame. But they saw the God-signs and hated anyway, both me and my Father. Interesting—they have verified the truth of their own Scriptures where it is written, ‘They hated me for no good reason.’

 “When the Friend I plan to send you from the Father comes—the Spirit of Truth issuing from the Father—he will confirm everything about me. You, too, from your side must give your confirming evidence, since you are in this with me from the start.”

John 15:18-27 (MSG)

Each passage of Scripture referenced above represents wisdom Jesus imparted to his apostles at critical times in their ministry. The passage from Matthew 10 represents Jesus” marching orders before the apostles left for their first “mission trip” without him. His teaching in Luke occurred in Jerusalem during the cascade of events leading to his trial and crucifixion. The passage in John was from Jesus’ teaching in the Upper Room on the night before his death. Jesus is eminently clear in his communication. If we as Christians identify with Jesus, seek to do His will and work to expand His Kingdom, we can expect others will…

  • Seek to destroy our reputation
  • Attempt to intimidate us and silence us
  • Use government authorities to try to stop us
  • Hate us

I became a big fan of Chick-fil-A (especially the chicken biscuits) during regular trips to the South last decade. The food was great, but the people I met who were involved with even more impressive. The excellence with which they seek to serve their customers is an outgrowth of their faith.

As I thought about the situation with Chick-fil-A this past week, it occurred to me that it’s not really about Chick-fil-A, or even the topic in question. It’s about Jesus…and His Word. Allow me to put on my psychiatrist’s hat and share my formulation…

The “elephant in the living room” in our ongoing culture wars is that Jesus, Christianity and the teachings of Scripture make some people very, very uncomfortable. After all, if Jesus is who He says He is and if the Bible is what it claims to be (the inerrant Word of God), a response is demanded of each of us. God’s standard is PERFECTION. NONE of us are capable of meeting the standard on our own. Recognition of our own inadequacy to save ourselves and the desire to receive God’s grace and forgiveness lead us, through faith, to acknowledge Jesus as Savior and Lord. We then seek to be obedient to Him and embark upon a process in which our actions and desires over time become aligned with his desires. But some people aren’t ready to go there.

So…how does one cope with the anxiety that results when confronted by the claims of Christianity if you’re not willing to submit to Christ? People use defense mechanisms… unconscious psychological strategies designed to protect the mind from anxiety and respond to situations in which the individual would otherwise be unable to cope.

Examples of defense mechanisms include projection…undesirable thoughts or behaviors in oneself are attributed to someone else. Example…Christians who publicly endorse “traditional values” are “hate-filled,” “bigoted” or “mean-spirited.”

Rationalization…making excuses. We can’t be held responsible for patters of behavior that are “genetic” in nature.

Our suffocating culture of political correctness represents a group attempt to create a culture in which expression of opposing views is unacceptable because exposure to such views could result in some experiencing distress. In my experience, the folks most likely to be insulated from any divergent thinking are those who work in academia. The value of moral relativism has been elevated above all others in that culture.

The greater the threat an individual perceives in their environment and the greater their unresolved anxiety, the more tenaciously they’ll cling to their defense mechanisms. Think of the religious and political leaders in Jesus’ time. They were VERY threatened by Jesus’ claims and His repeated demonstrations of their ineffectiveness and hypocrisy. So how are we to respond?

Jesus prepared his apostles…and us…for what we’re likely to face.

First, if you don’t want people to hate you, don’t be intentional about living out your faith in front of others. If you stand for nothing and don’t ever say or do anything that reflects the character of Jesus, you’ll be left alone. You won’t be “de-friended” on Facebook. You’ll also fail to fulfill your purpose in living. You represent Jesus, you deal with the garbage He dealt with. Don’t believe me. Check out the words above in red. He said so.

Second, we shouldn’t be out looking to start arguments with other people, but we need to be prepared when the opportunity arises to give a reason for the hope we have in Jesus. Dan Cathy from Chick-fil-A wasn’t out trying to provoke those who support changing the traditional definition of marriage in an interview with Biblical Reporter and during a radio program hosted by the MC of the Catalyst Conference. Jesus always treated those outside of the organized Jewish religious hierarchy with sensitivity and grace. We need to as well. Those of us who advocate and care for kids with disabilities and their families have the opportunity to be “light” to folks within academic medicine and the therapeutic community who may rarely come in contact with colleagues who are Christ-followers. The manner in which we conduct ourselves can go a long way in undermining the construct leaders of culture would seek to perpetuate of Christians…hate-filled, uneducated and narrow-minded.

An unintended benefit of the current controversy involving Chick-fil-A is that many more people are now aware of the witness of the Cathy family and God has been honored.And I have no doubt their restaurants will have MORE customers as a result.

Finally, Jesus has our back. If we put ourselves forward on his behalf, submit to his will and seek to be about his work, the Holy Spirit will give us the words we need when problems arise. He also reminds us that our ultimate well-being is in His hands…not those who hate him.

***********************************************************************************************************

Key CatalogLooking for a last minute Christmas gift for the person who has everything…including a relationship with Jesus? Consider something from the Key Catalog! You can sponsor anything from an on-site consultation at a local church, the addition of a new site for church-based respite care to a “JAM Session” to help multiple churches launch special needs ministries in your metropolitan area. Click the icon on the right to explore the Key Catalog!

Posted in Controversies | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Church, We’ve Got a Problem

Posted on December 22, 2012 by Dr. G

We’re wrapping up 2012 by sharing our ten most viewed blog posts of 2012, counting down to #1 on New Years Eve. Here’s #10…

How will the church serve a generation of families with kids who have issues with emotions or behavior that interfere with their ability to function on a day to day basis?

Kids with “hidden disabilities” like these are gradually becoming the new normal. Check out this study in the current issue of the Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry. To summarize:

22 % of U.S. children entering first grade met criteria for at least one mental disorder. Kids with autism spectrum disorders or developmental disabilities were excluded from this sample.

The most common condition experienced was Simple Phobia (9.0%). Other common conditions included ADHD (8.7%), Oppositional Defiant Disorder (8.4%), Separation Anxiety Disorder (2.1%) and Tic Disorders (1.7%).

An important point the authors of the study made was to note that the 22% figure applies only to kids who demonstrated problems that interfered significantly with their ability to function normally on a day to day basis. In lay terms, that means the child is able to learn at a level consistent with their intelligence in school, make and keep friends in an age-appropriate manner, function in an age-appropriate way as a member of their family and participate in extracurricular activities common for that community…like church.

The numbers quoted in this study from Yale are pretty consistent with data reported elsewhere. If you were to look at the kids involved with children’s programming at your church, do you think anywhere near 22% of the children being served experience one or more of these conditions? If not, let me welcome you to the new mission field down the street and around the block from your church.

Next, we’ll talk about how the church can be equipped and unleashed to welcome and minister to the families of this generation and their kids.

***********************************************************************************************************

Key CatalogLooking for a last minute Christmas gift for the person who has everything…including a relationship with Jesus? Consider something from the Key Catalog! You can sponsor anything from an on-site consultation at a local church, the addition of a new site for church-based respite care to a “JAM Session” to help multiple churches launch special needs ministries in your metropolitan area. Click the icon on the right to explore the Key Catalog!

Posted in Hidden Disabilities, Inclusion, Key Ministry | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Looking for a last-minute Christmas gift?

Posted on December 21, 2012 by Dr. G

image_ChristmasFamilyMy dad was a hard guy to shop for at Christmas…unfortunately for us, Best Buy and the Apple Store came along a little too late. And after he committed his life to Christ, he truly had everything and became even more difficult to shop for.

In the last years of his life, I’d seek out a specific Christian ministry or organization and sponsor some unique activity in line with his passions and interests as his Christmas gift. One year, we sponsored kids to attend an inner-city children’s church serving kids from broken homes in the projects of Cleveland. Another year, we sponsored Christmas dinner at the center for the homeless in his city.

You can start a similar tradition in your family this year with the help of our team from Key Ministry! A gift from the Key Catalog also makes for an amazing gift for a friend or loved one who is passionate about seeing the Body of Christ become more inclusive of people with disabilities.  We can provide a “gift certificate” to present to your loved ones detailing how the gift purchased in their honor will advance the Kingdom. Just email us at info@keyministry.org to request one.

As a special bonus for any new gifts of $250 or more made through the Key Catalog by 12:00 PM on Christmas Eve, our Board President will make a personalized “Thank You” video that will be posted to our You Tube and Facebook pages on Christmas morning to help make your gift more memorable!

Gifts of any size are very much appreciated! Click here to give a gift of ministry to your family member or loved one for Christmas. For more info on “The Case for Key Ministry,” click here.

Posted in Key Ministry | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Is autism a form of mental illness?

Posted on December 20, 2012 by Dr. G

imagesI came across this opinion piece from Priscilla Gilman in the New York Times earlier this week after the link was tweeted by Autism Speaks…one particular section jumped out at me…

Whether reporters were directly attributing Mr. Lanza’s shooting rampage to his autism or merely shoddily lumping together very different conditions, the false and harmful messages were abundant.

Let me clear up a few misconceptions. For one thing, Asperger’s and autism are not forms of mental illness; they are neurodevelopmental disorders or disabilities. Autism is a lifelong condition that manifests before the age of 3; most mental illnesses do not appear until the teen or young adult years. Medications rarely work to curb the symptoms of autism, but they can be indispensable in treating mental illness like obsessive-compulsive disorder, schizophrenia and bipolar disorder.

There were at least two misconceptions in this attempt to clear up the misconceptions… mental illness is very common in children and teens. According to the National Institute of Health,

Mental illness is not uncommon among children and adolescents. Approximately 12 million children under the age of 18 have mental disorders. The National Mental Health Association has compiled some statistics about mental illness in children and adolescents:

  • Mental health problems affect one in every five young people at any given time.
  • An estimated two-thirds of all young people with mental health problems are not receiving the help they need.
  • Less than one-third of the children under age 18 who have a serious mental health problem receive any mental health services.
  • As many as 1 in every 33 children may be depressed. Depression in adolescents may be as high as 1 in 8.
  • Suicide is the third leading cause of death for 15- to 24-years-olds and the sixth leading cause of death for 5- to 15-year-olds.
  • Schizophrenia is rare in children under age 12, but it occurs in about 3 of every 1,000 adolescents.
  • Between 118,700 and 186,600 youths in the juvenile justice system have at least one mental illness.
  • Of the 100,000 teenagers in juvenile detention, an estimated 60 percent have behavioral, cognitive, or emotional problems.

The other “misconception” was the statement that autism is not a mental illness. Again, per the National Institute of Health…

A mental illness can be defined as a health condition that changes a person’s thinking, feelings, or behavior (or all three) and that causes the person distress and difficulty in functioning. As with many diseases, mental illness is severe in some cases and mild in others. Individuals who have a mental illness don’t necessarily look like they are sick, especially if their illness is mild. Other individuals may show more explicit symptoms such as confusion, agitation, or withdrawal. There are many different mental illnesses, including depression, schizophrenia, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), autism, and obsessive-compulsive disorder.

Do I think this distinction is important? Not really. Are there people in the autism community who think the distinction is important? Absolutely. And that’s the point of this post.

Because of extensive media coverage and public education, the stigma associated with autism has largely disappeared. But the stigma associated with mental illness has largely remained. And that’s especially true in the church.

The public gets that kids and adults who have autism aren’t at fault for their condition. But problems with mental illness are widely attributed to poor or indifferent parenting, sloppy diagnosis or nefarious behavior on the part of pharmaceutical companies. And in the aftermath of the Sandy Hook shooting, media reports that the perpetrator had been diagnosed with Asperger’s Disorder led to fear that persons with autism would be tarred with the same brush used to stigmatize persons with mental illness and their families.

The reaction of many in the autism community says far more about the stigma that continues to be associated with mental illness in our culture. While the church has made great progress in serving kids with developmental disorders like autism in the past ten years, the greatest failing (and biggest piece of unfinished business) for Key Ministry from our first ten years is that we haven’t been effective at doing more to advance the cause of kids with mental illness and their families in the church.

Families impacted by mental illness are our modern day lepers in the church. And we all know how Jesus felt about lepers.

***********************************************************************************************************

Key CatalogLooking for a unique Christmas gift for the person who has everything…including a relationship with Jesus? Consider something from the Key Catalog! You can sponsor anything from an on-site consultation at a local church, the addition of a new site for church-based respite care to a “JAM Session” to help multiple churches launch special needs ministries in your metropolitan area. Click the icon on the right to explore the Key Catalog!

Posted in Advocacy, Autism, Controversies, Key Ministry, Mental Health | Tagged , , , , , | 5 Comments

How would your church help “Michael” and his “Anarchist Soccer Mom?”

Posted on December 17, 2012 by Dr. G

Anarchist Soccer Mom“Michael’s story” had been posted on my Facebook wall yesterday morning by one of my ministry colleagues while I was in church. This story has also been circulating under the title “I am Adam Lanza’s mother.” Here’s an excerpt…

I live with a son who is mentally ill. I love my son. But he terrifies me.

A few weeks ago, Michael pulled a knife and threatened to kill me and then himself after I asked him to return his overdue library books. His 7 and 9 year old siblings knew the safety plan—they ran to the car and locked the doors before I even asked them to. I managed to get the knife from Michael, then methodically collected all the sharp objects in the house into a single Tupperware container that now travels with me. Through it all, he continued to scream insults at me and threaten to kill or hurt me.

That conflict ended with three burly police officers and a paramedic wrestling my son onto a gurney for an expensive ambulance ride to the local emergency room. The mental hospital didn’t have any beds that day, and Michael calmed down nicely in the ER, so they sent us home with a prescription for Zyprexa and a follow-up visit with a local pediatric psychiatrist.

We still don’t know what’s wrong with Michael. Autism spectrum, ADHD, Oppositional Defiant or Intermittent Explosive Disorder have all been tossed around at various meetings with probation officers and social workers and counselors and teachers and school administrators. He’s been on a slew of antipsychotic and mood altering pharmaceuticals, a Russian novel of behavioral plans. Nothing seems to work.

I’ve never seen in print a more accurate representation of the nature of the presenting problems or the level of despair of all too many families seeking help from our practice. I didn’t see any of the coverage of the Newtown shooting on Friday. The parents of the first kid on my schedule didn’t think it was worth the fight that would ensue if they tried to put him in the car and bring him to his appointment. I couldn’t take their call later in the day when he was removed from school for making threats because I was busy with another kid who was suspended after bringing a weapon to school.

When we experienced a school shooting in our home county earlier this year similar to the one that took place last Friday in Newtown, my first reaction was to drive up to my office, go to our file room and make sure the shooter hadn’t been one of ours. I probably have 15-20 kids in our practice with problems similar to “Michael’s.”

Kids like “Michael” get lost in discussions of “special needs ministry.” He’s “twice-exceptional”…intellectually gifted, but with a disability. His disability dominates every aspect of his family life. How do you think things would go if Michael made clear his desire to NOT get up for church on Sunday morning? This is a kid who needs extra protection from the forces of evil present in our culture. So what could you or your church do to help “Michael”…or other families like his-to experience the love of Christ? Here are some ideas…

  • Be their friend. Having a kid like “Michael” can be very socially isolating. Take Dad (if he’s still in the picture) out for breakfast. Give Mom a call. Take her out for coffee.
  • Offer to go with them or find someone to help advocate for them when they need to meet with the team at Michael’s school. To the uninitiated, the special education system is often bewildering. Having someone with knowledge of the services available to support parents through the process can be an incredible blessing.
  • Offer to watch Michael (or his siblings) in order to give his parents needed respite. Kids like Michael, in the comfort and familiarity of their own homes with access to their preferred electronics and diversions may be less likely to become aggressive or violent than they would in an unfamiliar place…like a church. Liability may be less of a concern if parents are providing respite of their own accord as opposed to through a formal “program” in a church.
  • Support them through practical acts of service. Michael’s mom might need someone to be available “on call” to pick up her other kids when she’s tied up at the hospital. Our colleague Libby Peterson has talked about picking up a mop when one of her friends with a child with special needs had to scrub the floor.
  • Help families to access quality mental health services. For many families like Michael’s, having health insurance is no guarantee of being able to access the right help. Waiting lists for services are long. Qualified professionals are in very short supply. Home-based mental health services are nearly nonexistent in many communities. Appointments are too short.

Families such as Michael’s are the modern-day equivalent of the sick in second-century Rome. What a testimony to the power of the Gospel it would be for the church to care for kids like “Michael!”

***********************************************************************************************************

KM greenOur team at Key Ministry appreciates the prayers and support of all our followers, but at this time of the year, we find ourselves very much in need of your financial support. It will cost approximately $80,000 to maintain the free training, consultations and support we offer to help connect churches with families impacted by disability. We’re currently $30,000 short of covering our expenses for 2016. Please consider making a personally significant gift to supporting the work of our ministry.

Best Wishes for a very Merry Christmas and a Blessed New Year on behalf of the entire Key Ministry team!

Posted in Key Ministry | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Mental Illness and Mass Murder: Reflections From a Christian…and a Psychiatrist

Posted on December 16, 2012 by Dr. G

c79cec1671180b72ee93e5135571989bIt’s impossible without being intellectually dishonest to ignore the reality that most of the perpetrators of the horrific mass murders in America in the past few years have experienced symptoms associated with mental illness. While the vast majority of persons with mental illness never become violent, traits commonly associated with mental illness may be among many predisposing factors in children and adults who exhibit aggressive or violent behavior.

As Christians, we recognize the reality that we live in a broken world. When sin entered into the world and our relationship with God was broken, one consequence that we all continue to experience to this day are bodies that are, to one degree or another, broken. Given enough time, the organ systems that comprise our bodies break down to the point that we die. Our brain is arguably our most vulnerable organ and the organ most susceptible to the toxic effects of the world in which we live.

This is far from an inclusive list, but traits associated with human brains may predispose a person to violent or aggressive behavior, or perpetuate patterns of violent behavior. Some of those traits include…

  • Weaknesses in brain pathways modulating impulse control and/or emotional self-regulation
  • Exposure to traumatic events/experiences
  • Propensity to misinterpret the level of risk/danger in one’s immediate environment
  • Difficulties with language/communication, including non-verbal language. To some degree, our ability to effectively problem-solve and tolerate frustration is grounded in our ability to think by using words
  • Difficulty diverting focus/attention when “stuck” on distressing thoughts or the inability to have a desire/need met

The most common pattern I see in the shootings that have rocked our country in the past few years is the extent to which the perpetrators in each of these shootings experienced significant social isolation.

ebf6a73014aa86e6be888496230b62edFrom a Christian standpoint, this social isolation points to another quality of our broken world. To quote Rick Warren, we were created for relationship. We were created for an eternal relationship with God…our loving Father. We were created to be in relationship with one another. I’d argue that in the Parable of the Lost Sheep, the shepherd’s (Jesus’) pursuit of the lost sheep wasn’t simply because the sheep needed its shepherd, but because the lost sheep needed to be part of the community made up of the 99 other sheep, and the herd needed their lost brother or sister.

One very common observation among the kids I see in my practice is that kids who have a propensity to get stuck on distressing thoughts or gratifying an immediate need don’t do well with social isolation. I see kids like this all the time who do fine when they’re in school because of the cognitive stimulation associated with learning and the need to interact with teachers and peers, but become irritable and violent at home when there’s less stimulation to distract them from their obsessive or ruminative thinking. I suspect the same is true of the adults who have concocted elaborate plots to kill.

The events of the past week, having occurred in an outer suburb of the nation’s media capital, will lead to calls for increasing access to mental health services or limiting access to firearms. Neither intervention will result in a safer society for our children and families. An inconvenient truth about America’s mental health services is that we don’t have nearly enough qualified mental health professionals, and too many of the professionals and agencies we have aren’t very effective at helping the kids, adults and families who come desperately seeking help. We don’t have the money to provide everyone with potential for violence the intensity of service or supervision necessary to eliminate the risk to society, and even if we did, such an effort would involve an unacceptable intrusion into civil liberties. As for firearms, laws against murder didn’t serve as a deterrent in any of the recent mass killings, and bright, determined individuals intent upon mass murder find other methods to kill. Consider the Oklahoma City bombing, or 9/11. The Aurora, CO theater shooter had rigged explosives and gasoline to kill police coming to search his apartment. On the same day as the Newtown massacre, a man in China (where they have knife control laws in place) stabbed 22 children at an elementary school, three critically.

709e63f27284b51d2d97f884746a767cEfforts to address the danger present in our society through gun control or better mental health services represent futile attempts to employ collective defense mechanisms to assuage our anxieties and enable our avoidance of the real issue…there is evil in the world, NONE of us is good, and we as individuals and collectively as a society are powerless to do anything about it. Ask the parent of any two year old…Nobody teaches their kid to punch or kick or bite when another kid takes their toy away. We’re wired that way. It’s our human nature. We as Christians describe it as our sinful nature. But we don’t want to face that reality, or the reality that there are absolute standards of right and wrong established by the Creator of the world and when those standards are violated, pain and heartbreak are inevitable consequences.

We need to appreciate our place in a larger story. We live in a fallen world. A week from Tuesday, we’re commemorating the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ, who came to deal with the problem that our sinful human nature represents in separating us from a pure and holy God. We as Christians believe that through His birth, death and resurrection, Jesus allows us to be reconciled to God. When He was born in a Bethlehem manger 2000 years ago, Jesus began the process of re-establishing His Kingdom here on Earth and restoring the world to how it was created to be. During this era in human history, those who have professed faith in Jesus, through the working of the Holy Spirit, continue the process of re-establishing the Kingdom until the day when Jesus returns to complete the process. We’re players in the ultimate battle in the universe…the battle between good and evil. This battle is WAY bigger than any of us. Recently, it’s felt like we’re losing a lot more than we’re winning. So, what are we to do?

Jesus gave us our marching orders…”Go therefore, and make disciples of all nations.” We’ll never finish the job-it’s up to Jesus to do that. But the root cause of the massacre in Newtown…as well as the massacres in Chardon, Aurora, Virginia Tech and Columbine is a fundamental problem of the evil in the human heart. You’ve never seen anyone who truly displayed the fruits of the Spirit shoot up a school or crash planes into buildings.

Those of us who are Christ-followers…and WAY too many of our religious professionals have abdicated their responsibility to be salt and light in the world. You want to reduce the senseless violence in the world? Get intentional about allowing Jesus to use you to make more Christians!

One last thought to our readers…and this will be the topic of my next post…Families who have kids or grown children who demonstrate some or all of the traits described above that predispose them to violent/aggressive behavior are in special need of the love of Christ, and represent a great place to start if we’re going to change the world. Nobody should feel like an outsider in the church. And yet, we’re not very good at creating environments that are welcoming to those with mental conditions that leave them isolated and friendless…and vulnerable to the effects of the evil in the world.

Photos from the Newtown Patch. 

***********************************************************************************************************

Key CatalogLooking for a unique Christmas gift for the person who has everything…including a relationship with Jesus? Consider something from the Key Catalog! You can sponsor anything from an on-site consultation at a local church, the addition of a new site for church-based respite care to a “JAM Session” to help multiple churches launch special needs ministries in your metropolitan area. Click the icon on the right to explore the Key Catalog!

Posted in Controversies, Hidden Disabilities, Key Ministry | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Outward Focused Inclusion Ministry…Ryan Wolfe on Ensuring Justice

Posted on December 13, 2012 by Dr. G

Ryan WolfeRyan Wolfe serves as Pastor to the Developmentally Disabled community of Stark County through his staff position at First Christian Church in Canton, OH. Ryan served as a speaker for this year’s Inclusion Fusion Special Needs Ministry Web Summit, during which he described an initiative to provide playing fields on his church’s campus for Canton’s Challenger baseball league. 

We had a little mix-up yesterday and the incorrect article was posted on the blog about an initiative launched by Ryan’s church to provide guardians to spend time with and advocate for the needs of adults in their community with developmental disabilities that’s serving as a focal point for First Christian’s Christmas outreach. Here’s the post Ryan intended to share…

Working in the field of developmental disabilities can be a very rewarding profession.  Every day there are new advancements in technology and research that enhance the lives of people with disabilities and it is exciting to witness this first hand.    At the same time there are harsh realities that professionals, family members and those with disabilities face everyday.  The statistics of the rate of abuse and neglect of people with disabilities versus the typical population is very disheartening.  You can go on the Disability Scoop website and read story after story and statistic after statistic of abuse and neglect of people with disabilities.  As a Pastor to the Developmental Disability community here in Stark County, Ohio these statistics and news stories are much more to me than numbers or print in a newspaper.  I have sat beside and talked with people who have been abused in institutions.  I have looked in the eyes of people who have been neglected by group home staff.  These statistics and news stories are not just happening in other places around the world or even in third world countries, they are happening right around me.  Somehow I knew that this was unacceptable.  But what really could the church do about this?

As I began to learn more about the prevalence of abuse and neglect I kept hearing the verse, “Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensure justice for those being crushed.” (Proverbs 31:8).  It became clear that I needed to research more about this issue here where I live.  What I found out is this…In the county where I live there are well over 30 individuals with developmental disabilities on a guardian waiting list.  Some have been on this list for over three years and one person recently died while on the waiting list.  The agency who provides paid guardians for individuals have a client load of 62 clients per caseworker.  That is more than double the national average of 30.  The more I thought about this the more unacceptable it became to me.  So what does it mean when an individual is placed on a guardian waiting list?  It means that this individual has no family, friends or relatives who are willing or able to advocate for this individual.  A professional must step in to take on this role in that individual’s life.  Imagine for a minute what that really means.  This often means that every single person in this individual’s life is paid to be there.  Imagine how you would feel as a human being if the only people in your life were paid to be there.  Think of the isolation, loneliness and vulnerability that you may feel.

guardianship-617x289This is where I felt that the church could really make difference in the community and in the lives of people individually.  If someone could step in to this person’s life who is not paid but who wants to be there as an advocate and a friend the rate of abuse and neglect could dramatically be reduced.  I started to work with our local Guardian Support organization, our local county Board of Developmental Disabilities and our Probate Judge.  When I came to them and said that I would like to eliminate this waiting list with volunteer guardians from my church and other local churches they were very excited and willing to figure out how to make this work.  Currently I am in the process of recruiting, training and placing volunteer guardians from my church.  This is all a coordinated effort of all of these organizations and my church partnering together.  We are very much on the front end of this Guardianship Initiative but I feel certain that it is really something that can work.  The first volunteer guardian that I have recruited is already paired up with an individual from the waiting list and has already been able to make a difference in this person’s life as an advocate and a friend.  But the reverse is also true.  This individual from the waiting list has made a difference in the volunteer guardian’s life as well.  I believe that this Guardianship Initiative can work not only in my county but across Ohio and even across our nation!  If you would like more information on how to start something like this where you live please contact me.  If you live in Stark County, Ohio and want information on becoming a volunteer guardian contact me as well.  Thank you to Key Ministry for supporting churches and ministries who are trying to speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves and trying to ensure justice for those being crushed.

Ryan Wolfe (330) 456-2600 x253

rwolfe@firstchristian.info

***********************************************************************************************************

Key CatalogLooking for a unique Christmas gift for the person who has everything…including a relationship with Jesus? Consider something from the Key Catalog! You can sponsor anything from an on-site consultation at a local church, the addition of a new site for church-based respite care to a “JAM Session” to help multiple churches launch special needs ministries in your metropolitan area. Click the icon on the right to explore the Key Catalog!

Posted in Advocacy, Hidden Disabilities, Inclusion, Key Ministry, Strategies | Tagged , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Outwardly Focused Disability Ministry…Guest Blogger Ryan Wolfe

Posted on December 13, 2012 by Dr. G

key ministry final.inddWe had a little mix-up yesterday and the incorrect article was posted on the blog about an initiative launched by Ryan Wolfe’s church to provide guardians to spend time with and advocate for the needs of adults in their community with developmental disabilities that’s serving as a focal point for First Christian’s Christmas outreach. Click here for the post Ryan intended to share…

 

Posted in Advocacy, Inclusion, Key Ministry, Strategies | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Building a bigger movement…

Posted on December 10, 2012 by Dr. G

Key Ministry Birthday CardKey Ministry is turning ten on December 24th! As we celebrate what God has accomplished through ten years of providing free training, consultation, resources and support to churches serving kids with disabilities and their families, I’ll be doing a few blog posts looking back at what God has done through the churches we’ve served, as well as looking ahead to what might be in store for the future…

A couple of weeks ago, Tony Piantine (a highly respected disability ministry leader) shared the following comment in response to a post I’d written on the topic of Next Steps for the Disability Ministry Movement…

The concept of numbers being the reason church leaders cannot ignore people with disabilities is devaluing to every individual with a disability. Your quote: “Only when we include kids and adults with emotional, behavioral and developmental disabilities do the numbers become too large for church leaders to ignore” gives away power to a controlling elite, that have deemed themselves “the church”. The church that is not a full body and does not desire to be for any other reason than Biblical mandate, is simply not the church. We must move ahead on the basis of the value of every one of Gods people, the ruling “church” needs all the gifts of all the people, not the a lot of the gifts that some of the people have a lot of. Martin Luther King said “Discrimination is a hellhound that gnaws at us in every waking moment of our lives to remind us that the lie of our inferiority is accepted as truth in the society dominating us.” With out the change of our system of value, the church will never really be inclusive.

I’ve been mulling over Tony’s comments, because they deserve a thoughtful response. What he says is, of course, true. But I also think we need to step back to see a bigger picture.

Folks who are passionate about disability ministry are given their passion from God, and most disability ministry leaders have had experiences with family members or persons they’ve served that fueled their passion for disability ministry. But in the same way that individual churches are composed of people with unique gifts and talents and passion that complement one another, it would seem that the principle Paul described in Romans 12:3-8 would apply to the larger Church as well.

No church will be able to provide an optimally welcoming and inclusive ministry environment to every person and every family impacted by disabilities. But every church has something to contribute to the movement among Christ-honoring churches to share the Gospel with families impacted by disabilities. Some churches may not appear to be making much of an effort at all to welcome the families we want to be a part of church. But that doesn’t mean that their leaders are bad guys, or that their leadership is being disobedient to God. Maybe they’ve been given different gifts or passions that they’re using quite effectively to advance the cause of the ‘big C” church? Many of these churches happen to be very effective at reaching people with the Gospel who don’t have relationships with Jesus or any meaningful connection through a local church. They often do a very good job with creating church environments that are welcoming to “unchurched people.” Maybe it’s our job to reach out to them and show them how they can share the Gospel with the families we serve while being true to the ministries to which they’ve been called?

We (leaders in the disability ministry movement) ought to be able to find quite a bit of common ground with other church leaders who share our passion for reaching people who don’t know Jesus. But to work effectively with them, we need to seek first to understand their ministries before we seek to be understood. In my experience, they would not see families impacted by disabilities as being of anything other than equal worth to God, but might not develop programs or services for them because of concerns  that committing the staff or volunteer resources necessary to meet their needs would take away from their ability to pursue what they would see as their primary calling and ultimately result in fewer people knowing Jesus.

When we in the disability ministry movement start speaking and thinking in terms of the 20% of kids with disabilities (ADHD, anxiety disorders, attachment disorders, trauma, kids on the autism spectrum of average or above average intellectual functioning) in addition to the kids and adults with physical or intellectual disabilities classically thought of as having “special needs” that make it harder for them or their families to regularly participate in church, our passions become more closely aligned with the passions of the churches Tony referred to as the “ruling elite.” If we work together, we can combine our resources with theirs to greatly expand the numbers of our brothers and sisters in Christ.

Because many churches that are effectively reaching unchurched people are very gifted at creating welcoming ministry environments, I could easily envision a role for them in serving kids with more subtle or hidden disabilities…kids with conditions that are disabling in some, but not all environments. Kids with disabilities that wouldn’t necessarily be thought of as having “special needs.” Kids with parents who may not have done well in more traditional church environments. And rightly or wrongly, the large churches that are reaching lots of unchurched people are the ones that are granted access to the platforms to influence leaders of other churches.

I want to issue a challenge to my friends and colleagues in disability ministry. I want you to read at least one of two books… Simple Church by Thom Rainer and Eric Geiger and/or Seven Practices of Effective Ministry by Andy Stanley, Reggie Joiner and Lane Jones. After you read the book(s), I’d like to invite you to do a guest post for me on how you and your organization could help church leaders operating under the leadership paradigm described in these books to welcome more children, teens and adults with disabilities while staying true to the ministry principles they’ve found successful.

***********************************************************************************************************

Key CatalogLooking for a unique Christmas gift for the person who has everything…including a relationship with Jesus? Consider something from the Key Catalog! You can sponsor anything from an on-site consultation at a local church, the addition of a new site for church-based respite care to a “JAM Session” to help multiple churches launch special needs ministries in your metropolitan area. Click the icon on the right to explore the Key Catalog!

Posted in Hidden Disabilities, Key Ministry, Ministry Environments, Strategies | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment